Surviving A Stock Market Crash Gifts

'It's safe to come out now; they're done recapping today's market.'

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

Stock market Bull & Bear financial whirlwind.

"How have you managed to keep your job?"

Paper Profits Break Glass In Case of Emergency.

The symbol for the euro (?) depicted as the wheel of a wheelchair, symbolising the state of the currency

'This app is linked to my financial advisor and provides simulated hand holding when the market is down.'

'Now let's proceed downstairs and see where our stock shares presently sits,'

'Our fund lost millions, but the good news is our management fees are not based on performance.'

'How long's he been out there?'

Fairy Tales. The piggy bank's been smiling a lot lately. He's the only one who didn't lose his savings in the stock market meltdown.

'My investment club had morphed into a support group.'

"Dow-Jones Index...Dow-Jones Index..."

'Your investments in sub prime mortgages have become collectors items now! Aren't you excited?'

Economic casualties.

"Let's first talk about how you could have done worse."

Sign reading "Bought High; Sold Low."

'If the market should go down really deep, I'll be well prepared!'

'You don't want to go to hell, J.B. In hell, the market is always down.'

"I invested $1000 in Nortel and now my shares are worth 18 cents."

Easy street ends.

"I think it's nice the way we divide the pain in to four equal parts."

By camouflaging himself, Ed was able to avoid being a victim of the company's massive layoffs.

Vulture waiting outside a failing business.

'I run a small investment firm. Unfortunately, it used to be a large investment firm.'

'The market was down today substantially on fears that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself.'

"Sure, you lost most of your money investing in this stock, but they did give you a participation trophy."

"First me stock split, then my wife ran away with my broker, then my driverless car drove off without me..."

'It's day to day, but so far I've survived,'

"You owe your life to that dog. He pulled you to safety. Unfortunately, there's still no sign of the dog ??" or your arm."

'If it's any consolation, your portfoilo is now in a far better place.'

"Nothing in my hat. Nothing up my sleeve. And as of right now, ladies and gentlemen, nothing at all left in my goddamn portfolio."

'Since I lost my shirt on the stock market, I now only accept strong currency or gold bullion.'

'The good news is the airline was trying to skimp on fuel, and no terrorists were involved.'t

'Your portfolio took a beating...,but the good news is no humans or animals were injured.'