Surviving Economic Downturn Gifts

Eddie's Tavern: Happy Despite The Current Situation Hour 2-7 PM.

'The Board has chosen you to handle the restructuring because you have no heart.'

'All we can do is hope for identity theft.'

'Oh, no! It's all in euros!'

"Sorry, but there aren't enough life jackets to go around."

'Now let's proceed downstairs and see where our stock shares presently sits,'

'That's where they keep all the money I don't have anymore.'

'How long's he been out there?'

"Here, we realized it was not some awful fever dream."

'I'm sorry, Collin, but our Dreyfus Mid-Cap fund completely tanked, so we're going to have to let you go.'

"Phew! I'm glad this part of the ride is over..."

'Yes, I think you better had ask Santa for it. Because there's no way I could afford to buy it.'

'Am I glad to be back - austerity's gone mad out there!'

'We don't have a mission statement. We have a survival plan.'

Didn't know as much about the market as I thought I did.

"Okay, the market took a dive. No reason to panic, Mr. Spielman."

'And the good news is - we're in deep doo-doo.'

"Right, all those in favour of a car boot sale."

"Since they graduated, have any of your children moved back in with you?"

By camouflaging himself, Ed was able to avoid being a victim of the company's massive layoffs.

"I asked Bill to accompany this presentation with something in a haunting minor key."

"I am reminded of a morbidly depressing anecdote. . ."

Nation of Has-Beens (and Never-Will-Bes)

Coming out of the crisis

Jetsgo out of business.

'If the market should go down really deep, I'll be well prepared!'

'This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up.'

'You don't want to go to hell, J.B. In hell, the market is always down.'

Stress.

Business jargon : 'significant negative growth' translated into : 'we are dead broke !'

'I run a small investment firm. Unfortunately, it used to be a large investment firm.'

Vulture waiting outside a failing business.

Sign says: 'Please Help. Downshifting'

Bank manager with no business has tumbleweed blowing into office.

'Listen... that sound... we're scraping the bottom of the barrel.'