Economic Crisis Survivor Gifts

"Gas prices are horrible! I can barely afford chain smoking and the booze!"

'The Board has chosen you to handle the restructuring because you have no heart.'

Stock market Bull & Bear financial whirlwind.

'All we can do is hope for identity theft.'

'Normally, I would give credit where credit is due but we're in a credit crunch. Therefore, I will take all the credit for your hard work on this project.'

'Now let's proceed downstairs and see where our stock shares presently sits,'

"When I got laid off, the corporation enlisted me in the army."

For sale

"Here, we realized it was not some awful fever dream."

'McWit Plumbing and Lite Puff Pastries.' The only way to survive in today's economy it's good to diversify.'

'How long's he been out there?'

"Phew! I'm glad this part of the ride is over..."

'Am I glad to be back - austerity's gone mad out there!'

"All in favor of changing out name from '17th Federal Savings & Loan' to 'Still Here Bank'..."

'What happens when we run out of gas?!'

'Crisis'

'You don't want to go to hell, J.B. In hell, the market is always down.'

Coming out of the crisis

'This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up.'

'Our cries of Armageddon were completely ignored, so let's just keep throwing money at the economy.'

'If the market should go down really deep, I'll be well prepared!'

'Because in this economy you make a few compromises for job security.'

Vulture waiting outside a failing business.

'I run a small investment firm. Unfortunately, it used to be a large investment firm.'

Ace Loan Company is now Ace Borrowing Company.

"I've decided to move back in with my parents."

'There will be no more pocket money kids. Dad bank has gone in to liquidation.'

"Well, go get a job and move out if your allowance doesn't have the purchasing power it did when you were fourteen."

'We've got to think about our lending policy for small businesses... Like my tailor!'

Home Owners.

'The good news is the airline was trying to skimp on fuel, and no terrorists were involved.'t

"We've taken out a second mortgage on our first one."