Economy Survivor Gifts

"I've decided to move back in with my parents."

'The Board has chosen you to handle the restructuring because you have no heart.'

Desert Island BBQ

Stock market Bull & Bear financial whirlwind.

"The Internet startup had only enough cash for one more day. But, miraculously, the money lasted for eight days, until more venture capital could be raised."

'Now let's proceed downstairs and see where our stock shares presently sits,'

'This app is linked to my financial advisor and provides simulated hand holding when the market is down.'

'Our fund lost millions, but the good news is our management fees are not based on performance.'

"Here, we realized it was not some awful fever dream."

With the mine closing down due to Emission concerns...somone had to shake their booty to keep food on the table.

'McWit Plumbing and Lite Puff Pastries.' The only way to survive in today's economy it's good to diversify.'

'How long's he been out there?'

'Well, that's simplified the mission statement.'

"Phew! I'm glad this part of the ride is over..."

Well you know what they say - here today gone tomorrow - or in the case of dotcoms, here today gone shortly after lunch.

'Am I glad to be back - austerity's gone mad out there!'

'My investment club had morphed into a support group.'

'I am sorry Davis, your bonus is a bit different this year, its all down to cashflow; but you can take your pick.'

"All in favor of changing out name from '17th Federal Savings & Loan' to 'Still Here Bank'..."

Desk Request

'I hereby sentence you to 40 years labor in an office with fluorescent lighting, just enough salary to keep you alive...'

"The cat walking business didn't go anywhere! Neither did we."

"Let's first talk about how you could have done worse."

Sign reading "Bought High; Sold Low."

'I'm sorry. The CEO can't come to the phone right now. He's entertaining some prospective clients over lunch.'

'Because in this economy you make a few compromises for job security.'

"Everything has been done to death."

'You don't want to go to hell, J.B. In hell, the market is always down.'

Coming out of the crisis

'If the market should go down really deep, I'll be well prepared!'

'This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up.'

City Dump: Resumes.

Vulture waiting outside a failing business.