Economic Survivalist Gifts

"We all have to make austerity cuts right now, so I've given up gym fees."

'Sorry about dinner, honey...ever since your dad was laid off work we've been trying to figure out new ways to make dinner.'

'Louie Ferguson got a job last week -- you never know who's going to be next.'

Investments: If the economy collapses, oceans and anarchy rules, we have some all-weather stocks.

'Money is a bit tight at the moment, so instead of cash we wondered whether you'd settle for 20% more meaningless protestations of how much we value you?'

"A wage increase to match inflation."

'I hear they're letting you go. Your family must have paid the ransom.'

"Yes, we're stranded here... but think how healthier we are eating nothing but fish!"

Anti stress week: For God sake don't miss it!!

"Thankfully, this year, the results can be attributed to something other than our own gross incompetence."

'So far we're holding off overseas competition.'

"Why can't we just have a normal home security system like the neighbours."

'McWit Plumbing and Lite Puff Pastries.' The only way to survive in today's economy it's good to diversify.'

'Well, that's simplified the mission statement.'

'Come back in two months the meaning of life can change, depending if the market is bullish or bearish.'

Drawing on an island.

'This doesn't look good.'

"Dow-Jones Index...Dow-Jones Index..."

'As a rationalization specialist I actually have a concept to cut our deficit quickly and effectively - Just do a head stand'!

America's Biggest Export...

Economic casualties.

Scared employees and manager fighting recession (dragon).

'I'm telling you, this is a tough place to work. Pass the pepper spray.'

Doctor to man: 'You'll need to empty your pockets. For symbolic purposes, let's start with your wallet.'

'It's called sustainable living. He can survive for days out here.'

Beached Whales

'Because in this economy you make a few compromises for job security.'

"I think it's nice the way we divide the pain in to four equal parts."

Welcome centre

"The only time I let my staff show fear is when they're trying to save their jobs."

Till malfunction

'Have you been reading the financial pages again?'

"Put your fears to rest. We won't be reducing any personnel, just salaries."

"I've decided to move back in with my parents."

"Big raise!"