Social Survivalist Gifts

"Want to network?"

Choose your social anxiety coping mechanism!

'So there I was, alone in the aisle, heart pounding, without a bloody clue as to what wine I should bring our hosts.'

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

Desert Island Meals.

"I dunno, looks like a trap."

Problem Solving: Man rows desert island to land.

"I just hope the world doesn't end before people can see our outfits."

Late/Too Late.

"We hardly ever intercept hard copy notes anymore, Stanley."

"You knew this was a soul-sucking job when you took it."

'Arf! Arf!'

'Ever feel like you've walked into a corporate lion's den?'

"Day 736. Still loving the fact that I can smoke all over this island..."

'He refuses to leave without the tree and their son.'

"Yes, I'm alone."

'Let's put it this way Tommy, if we could go below F minus you would be forging new territory!'

"Where are redactions when you need them?"

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

'My class is so large and my seat so far back, I feel like I'm taking a distance-learning course.'

'Money is a bit tight at the moment, so instead of cash we wondered whether you'd settle for 20% more meaningless protestations of how much we value you?'

'I'm glad to see you've started building a boat.'

'I hear they're letting you go. Your family must have paid the ransom.'

Anti stress week: For God sake don't miss it!!

'I'm reporting you to the Department of Education!'

I'm doing poorly, but that's without performance enhancing drugs.

With the office space available, we have no choice but to believe in teamwork!

"Thankfully, this year, the results can be attributed to something other than our own gross incompetence."

Bob liked a challenge, and the shipwreck gave him something to get his teeth into.

'Remember, son, don't believe any thing you hear and only half of what you see.'

"The quicksand was corporate's idea. I wanted to fire you for going over my head. They wanted to send a message."

"Why can't we just have a normal home security system like the neighbours."

Prepper Dog

'Oh, we tried a nurturing corporate culture, but we found the law-of-the-jungle mentality is what keeps our competitive edge..'

'On the other hand, if I never finish anything I can't be a complete failure...'