Survivalism Gifts

"No...ha-ha, no, but seriously, boy, I'm going to have to eat you now."

Climate Change Contingency House

"This is really putting a crimp in my plan to live in the woods and survive off nothing but berries and grubs."

"The government is comin' to take away our freedom. Barricade yourself inside, Marge, and stay there 'til I tell you."

"I wonder if we might benefit from socializing more with those who don't harbor anti-government views."

'But, sir, this isn't a deserted island, it's merely an undeveloped isthmus.'

Tsunami Evac Route

Former Survivalist

'...you have your ideas about survival aids and I have mine '

Message in a bottle...

"I thought she was being shy. It turns out she's a doom-dayer!"

Desert Island: 'Offer Lessons of Meditation.'

As an environmentalist, I dread the day the last tree is chopped down. As a castaway, I rather encourage it.

Beaver stranded in a boat looks on the bright side...'Well, at least we've got plenty of food.'

'You idiot, that was our only chance of getting a message out to someone.'

'Just so you know: If this elevator breaks down, I have no problems cannibalizing your body for my survival.'

Survivalist, Best Before end of the world

Prepper Dog

Spiro & Pusho's Desert Island.

"Instant coffee? Little plug-in water heater?? This new guy must be a real survivalist!"

"Did you order 8000 tins of beans, 10,000 litres of water, 400 bottles of vitamins C tablets, 500 rolls of tin foil. . ."

Luxury Hammock - 2 Person Construction

"Well, that's the last of it, which means we just ate thirty years' worth of food in two weeks."

"But part of me hopes there never is an Armageddon."

Punxsutawney Phil predicts six more weeks of civilization

"We really need to start thinking about the future."

"On the other hand, given your risk tolerance, you might prefer our Post-Apocalyptic Plan."

"Finally, someone to gossip about."

"What, no day spa? And you call this a luxury bunker."

'Heck, I'm prepared for anything!'

"I like to see a man who's prepared, Remson!"

"For seven years I used your rent to build our quarantine bunker."

"While humanity battles the covid bioweapon we'll live freely in our bunker."

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."