Survivalism Gifts

"No...ha-ha, no, but seriously, boy, I'm going to have to eat you now."

Climate Change Contingency House

"This is really putting a crimp in my plan to live in the woods and survive off nothing but berries and grubs."

"The government is comin' to take away our freedom. Barricade yourself inside, Marge, and stay there 'til I tell you."

"I wonder if we might benefit from socializing more with those who don't harbor anti-government views."

'But, sir, this isn't a deserted island, it's merely an undeveloped isthmus.'

"I learned my lesson after Katrina and the BP oil spill. Basically, it's be ready for just about anything."

Tsunami Evac Route

Former Survivalist

Diapers. Formula. Yeah, well, don�t come crawling to me for a bottle when it all goes to hell. Baby Survivalist.

'...you have your ideas about survival aids and I have mine '

Message in a bottle...

"I thought she was being shy. It turns out she's a doom-dayer!"

Desert Island: 'Offer Lessons of Meditation.'

As an environmentalist, I dread the day the last tree is chopped down. As a castaway, I rather encourage it.

Beaver stranded in a boat looks on the bright side...'Well, at least we've got plenty of food.'

'You idiot, that was our only chance of getting a message out to someone.'

'Just so you know: If this elevator breaks down, I have no problems cannibalizing your body for my survival.'

Survivalist, Best Before end of the world

Prepper Dog

Spiro & Pusho's Desert Island.

"Instant coffee? Little plug-in water heater?? This new guy must be a real survivalist!"

How to survive the coming crash.

"Did you order 8000 tins of beans, 10,000 litres of water, 400 bottles of vitamins C tablets, 500 rolls of tin foil. . ."

Luxury Hammock - 2 Person Construction

Survivalist Training Camp.

"Well, that's the last of it, which means we just ate thirty years' worth of food in two weeks."

"But part of me hopes there never is an Armageddon."

Punxsutawney Phil predicts six more weeks of civilization

"We really need to start thinking about the future."

"On the other hand, given your risk tolerance, you might prefer our Post-Apocalyptic Plan."

"Finally, someone to gossip about."

"What, no day spa? And you call this a luxury bunker."

Analysts have said the US and Russia are closer to nuclear war than ever. The outcome of the election tomorrow will probably determine whether we live in mediocrity … or whether we suffer a nuclear apocalypse in which a crafty café owner, who's squirreled away scones and ammunition in a vast network of underground bunkers, could rise to become feudal warlord of a brand new world. So ... who are you voting for again? The person I've been preparing ever since 2nd grade to vote for.

'Heck, I'm prepared for anything!'