Survivalist Strategist Gifts

"Why can't we just have a normal home security system like the neighbours."

Future world records

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

'Don't think of it as being a yes man, think of it as being an employed man.'

Desert Island Meals.

"I dunno, looks like a trap."

A desert island with a knotted palm tree

Problem Solving: Man rows desert island to land.

"More rescue efforts, less screenplay."

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

65 Million Years Ago

'Arf! Arf!'

'He refuses to leave without the tree and their son.'

"Day 736. Still loving the fact that I can smoke all over this island..."

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

"Yes, I'm alone."

'I hear they're letting you go. Your family must have paid the ransom.'

'I'm glad to see you've started building a boat.'

"Yes, I'm sure of my 3 wishes - I wish I had a pen, I wish I had paper to write a 'rescue me' note, and I wish I had a bottle to send it in"

Anti stress week: For God sake don't miss it!!

"Yes, we're stranded here... but think how healthier we are eating nothing but fish!"

'I was thinking-what if the tide's OUT?'

"Thankfully, this year, the results can be attributed to something other than our own gross incompetence."

'I hate evolution!'

Bob liked a challenge, and the shipwreck gave him something to get his teeth into.

'Remember, son, don't believe any thing you hear and only half of what you see.'

Prepper Dog

The trap

Desert island dweller sinks in sand.

What's your contingency plan, Randy? My what? If a calamity of biblical proportions were to strike here in Canardville, would you flee across the bridge to Candorville? Or would you search in vain for a fallout-resistant bunker, before surrendering to the cruel inevitability of your demise? I ask just for the sake of discussion. No reason to panic. Totally unrelated: I just found out someone who's definitely not me is selling fallout bunkers at buy-this-now-if-you-want-to-live.com. Very bad man.

'Well, that's simplified the mission statement.'

'Do you have to be so melodramatic?'

Doug reasoned that things could be worse...but just how much worse...he wasn't sure??

Tsunami Evac Route