Survival Strategizer Gifts

"Did you happen to catch the last season of 'Lost'?"

"Sorry, Steve, but Brad and I have voted you off the island."

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

'Don't think of it as being a yes man, think of it as being an employed man.'

A desert island with a knotted palm tree

65 Million Years Ago

'I was thinking-what if the tide's OUT?'

'Rubbing sticks together was a great idea. After 40 minutes, I'm so warm I don't need a fire!'

'I hate evolution!'

"Why can't we just have a normal home security system like the neighbours."

Prepper Dog

The trap

'Well, that's simplified the mission statement.'

'To prepare for Y2K, I backed up all discs and documents. . . stockpiled water and non-perishables. . . converted my investments to cash and set up a wood burning stove.'

"You will note that their ability to comprehend, assess and process information increases dramatically when Professor Podhertz throws in the cat."

Look on the bright side, at least we're keeping our heads above water

"Well, they're circling counter-clockwise, so we must be in the southern hemisphere."

"Have you figured out what the powers of that new super hero will be? How about the power to meet deadlines? That would be a good power?"

"Just junk mail."

"I know the schools are great, but is this really the house we want to ride out the apocalypse in?"

'Just when you think things can't get any worse, it starts to rain.'

'Some more great camouflage of the insect world.'

'Michelle, this is your brother, Paul, do you copy? Over...Paul to Michelle, do you read me?...'

"Randy, if you were stranded on an island, what's the one book you'd want to have along with you?" "Easy: Blood Meridian by Cormac McCarthy. It's got the perfect heft to knock coconuts out of trees." "Well, I'd like to have How to Get Off an Island, by Archie Macguyver." "That title's actually a metaphor for overcoming shyness." "We really should have our own book review show."

'Look, thanks for your concern, but I think a flood is something we can cope with!'

'No thank you, I'm on a diet: I've noticed that the fat ones disappear first...'

'I think it's for compliance with some Federal safety regulation.'

'Another one. Do you realize that will make the third time this month we've held a fire drill?'

'It isn't just you, Wally. We've all been put on the endangered species list.'

'...and why does it have to be MY shirt we use as a sail?'

Come with me. Things are tough around here and somebody may want to eat you.

Message in a bottle.

"Now that we've fermented coconut milk, do we build a boat or a tiki bar?"

"Well, at least he was tasty."