Survival Strategists Gifts

'My grandparents built it during the cold war. Now they only use it during the cold and flu season.'

65 Million Years Ago

"Just junk mail."

"Randy, if you were stranded on an island, what's the one book you'd want to have along with you?" "Easy: Blood Meridian by Cormac McCarthy. It's got the perfect heft to knock coconuts out of trees." "Well, I'd like to have How to Get Off an Island, by Archie Macguyver." "That title's actually a metaphor for overcoming shyness." "We really should have our own book review show."

Prepper Dog

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

'Don't think of it as being a yes man, think of it as being an employed man.'

Desert Island Meals.

"I dunno, looks like a trap."

'This has the makings of their toughest season ever.'

A desert island with a knotted palm tree

Problem Solving: Man rows desert island to land.

'I'm so bored - nothing ever happens around here!'

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

Goldfish bowl on raft...

"All right, boys, we're had our fun."

In a cycle - one bucket out, one bucket in.

"We needn't have a fancy home, just a place to rest when we no longer roam."

"More rescue efforts, less screenplay."

"Now you can send it."

"Hmm...I can see a best-selling book and a movie deal out of this..."

Building a Shelter

Admit it. We have a drinking problem.

'Arf! Arf!'

'I need a life saving app. I need a life saving app.'

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

'Being stuck on a desert island is one thing, but being struck on a desert island with a hoarder...'

"Yes, I'm alone."

Desert Island Mishap

'He refuses to leave without the tree and their son.'

"Day 736. Still loving the fact that I can smoke all over this island..."

'Swiss Army Rescue Service. How can we help?'

'I'm glad to see you've started building a boat.'

'I was thinking-what if the tide's OUT?'