Survival Strategist Gifts

"You will note that their ability to comprehend, assess and process information increases dramatically when Professor Podhertz throws in the cat."

"Actually, I'm all ready for the pandemic. I still have everything from Y2K, SARS and the West Nile."

"I know the schools are great, but is this really the house we want to ride out the apocalypse in?"

'No thank you, I'm on a diet: I've noticed that the fat ones disappear first...'

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

"Stocks are up, led by sales of hazmat suits, emegency survival kits, electric generators, gas masks..."

'I think it's for compliance with some Federal safety regulation.'

'I hate evolution!'

Keep the safety net in this crazy circus we call life.

'Another one. Do you realize that will make the third time this month we've held a fire drill?'

Boxes of Salt arrive at the Desert Island.

'Water and food! Maybe this is my lucky day after all.'

The hard part will be staying afloat after the floods have gone

Working on a raft/working on a raft of initiatives.

Survivalist, Best Before end of the world

'...and why does it have to be MY shirt we use as a sail?'

'Just so you know: If this elevator breaks down, I have no problems cannibalizing your body for my survival.'

'Michelle, this is your brother, Paul, do you copy? Over...Paul to Michelle, do you read me?...'

'In two more weeks you'll be legally dead, so watch your step!'

'We need to lighten the boat. You're a good team member, aren't you?'

"Spread out and see if there's anything to start a fire

'I'm afraid we have the opposite problem. I'm a meat-eater who'd rather eat a vegetarian than die.'

'I was thinking-what if the tide's OUT?'

Bob hated to keep moving. But he'd die if he didn't.

"I think we've been going around in circles."

The trap

"By y calculations, if you swim 300 miles in that direction, you might get a signal."

"Now that we've fermented coconut milk, do we build a boat or a tiki bar?"

"Listen, I'm not proud of it, but I had to trip him: Bill was fitter than me, how else could I survive."

A desert island with a knotted palm tree

The Beyond Help Desk.

'Here comes another swarm, it must be that time of year again.'

"If I can crawl, you can circle."

"That's a very nice hobby. My hobby is living."

"Rob, this is not the time to show off your chin-ups."