Modern Survivalist Gifts

'It's called sustainable living. He can survive for days out here.'

Welcome centre

Technology insulation.

Desert Island Wind Farm

Mouse Defenses

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

Desert Island Meals.

"I dunno, looks like a trap."

Problem Solving: Man rows desert island to land.

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

"I just hope the world doesn't end before people can see our outfits."

"More rescue efforts, less screenplay."

"We hardly ever intercept hard copy notes anymore, Stanley."

'Arf! Arf!'

'Let's put it this way Tommy, if we could go below F minus you would be forging new territory!'

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

"Yes, I'm alone."

'He refuses to leave without the tree and their son.'

"Day 736. Still loving the fact that I can smoke all over this island..."

'My class is so large and my seat so far back, I feel like I'm taking a distance-learning course.'

"If the meeting goes on for longer than scheuled...I'm prepared!"

"Yes, I'm sure of my 3 wishes - I wish I had a pen, I wish I had paper to write a 'rescue me' note, and I wish I had a bottle to send it in"

I'm doing poorly, but that's without performance enhancing drugs.

'I'm glad to see you've started building a boat.'

'I'm reporting you to the Department of Education!'

'In an effort to make this sales meeting more pleasant, I have taken the liberty of rotating our sales graph counter clockwise a full ninety degrees,'

'Remember, son, don't believe any thing you hear and only half of what you see.'

Bob liked a challenge, and the shipwreck gave him something to get his teeth into.

Prepper Dog

"Why can't we just have a normal home security system like the neighbours."

'My teacher sends report cards as PDF attachments. Luckily, my parents have no idea how to open computer files.'

'On the other hand, if I never finish anything I can't be a complete failure...'

'Do you have to be so melodramatic?'

Doug reasoned that things could be worse...but just how much worse...he wasn't sure??

'Straying from the subject, Danny, is not distance learning.'