Software Survivalist Gifts

"Please wait while I load up software you'll never use and stick random icons all over the place."

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

Desert Island Meals.

'Thank-you God.'

"I dunno, looks like a trap."

Problem Solving: Man rows desert island to land.

"More rescue efforts, less screenplay."

Late/Too Late.

"I find it so stimulating to learn new software."

"We hardly ever intercept hard copy notes anymore, Stanley."

'Arf! Arf!'

"You knew this was a soul-sucking job when you took it."

'Ever feel like you've walked into a corporate lion's den?'

My phone is synced with my tablet, my tablet is synced with my laptop ... but none of them are synced with me."

"Day 736. Still loving the fact that I can smoke all over this island..."

Cafe Burns.

'Let's put it this way Tommy, if we could go below F minus you would be forging new territory!'

'He refuses to leave without the tree and their son.'

"Yes, I'm alone."

'My class is so large and my seat so far back, I feel like I'm taking a distance-learning course.'

'I'm reporting you to the Department of Education!'

"Yes, I'm sure of my 3 wishes - I wish I had a pen, I wish I had paper to write a 'rescue me' note, and I wish I had a bottle to send it in"

"If the meeting goes on for longer than scheuled...I'm prepared!"

'I know Lazarus software retrieves lost data, but I don't think it helps when your dog eats your homework.'

'I'm glad to see you've started building a boat.'

I'm doing poorly, but that's without performance enhancing drugs.

'In an effort to make this sales meeting more pleasant, I have taken the liberty of rotating our sales graph counter clockwise a full ninety degrees,'

With the office space available, we have no choice but to believe in teamwork!

No employee is indispensable, but Doreen came pretty close.

'Remember, son, don't believe any thing you hear and only half of what you see.'

Bob liked a challenge, and the shipwreck gave him something to get his teeth into.

"Why can't we just have a normal home security system like the neighbours."

Santa Claus delivers present to man stranded on desert island.

"The quicksand was corporate's idea. I wanted to fire you for going over my head. They wanted to send a message."

'Well, that's simplified the mission statement.'