Tech Survivor Gifts

My phone is synced with my tablet, my tablet is synced with my laptop ... but none of them are synced with me."

STRIP Hambone: Living in the box the computer who replaced him came in

'Your last tech job offered generous options? So do we: Take it or leave it.'

'Technology hasn't saved me any money. I'm now supporting those relatives of mine they replaced.'

"Push '4' to hear these options again...and this time pay attention!"

Computer Room.

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

"I find it so stimulating to learn new software."

"A home recently sold in my neighborhood."

"The Internet startup had only enough cash for one more day. But, miraculously, the money lasted for eight days, until more venture capital could be raised."

Well, you and I know it's our home, but our 'smart home' doesn't know it's our home

'Sorry, I can't help you, the computer's down again.'

Man leaving his office with his computer tangled around his leg,

'This Power Point slide has a dynamic layout comparing reading scores throughout the district, which you would have seen if I remembered to bring a spare projection bulb.

Tech Support/Counseling for Anxiety caused by tech-support.

"If the jumper cables don't work, I'll pour more motor oil on the keys."

Well you know what they say - here today gone tomorrow - or in the case of dotcoms, here today gone shortly after lunch.

Cyberwarfare

System failure - calling for sysadmin...

"It's a really cool game! You're Bill Gates, and you have to fight off the evil agents of the Justice Department before they destroy your planet."

"The cat walking business didn't go anywhere! Neither did we."

Desk Request

"Thanks for the offer... but I'd rather see if tech support can get my computer running."

"Please wait while I load up software you'll never use and stick random icons all over the place."

"Whatever the politicians might decide, I'm well prepared because I've got enough hate comments for the next five years!"

"It just doesn't seem right. Ever since the new system upgrade nothing is where it used to be!"

'Sorry guys! But i'm afraid we're going to have to shoot this segment again. The darn tape just ran out!'

Abandon all hope of Wifi ye who enter here

"Pull over and check your phone" "Once more for good luck" "Maybe just another teensy look"

"I'm certainly no expert on the matter, but throwing the copier out the window just may be a sign you're suffering from stress."

"Yes, that's our bathroom. We're a startup, so plumbing and running water is a luxury."

"My grandpa suffers from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder from the time when he worked with Windows 95."

"I think I see your problem."

"Yes I DO mind being put on hold! I only have a two week life span."

"For Father's Day, I'm giving my dad an hour of free tech support."