Economic Survivor Gifts

'Look on the bright side Mary . . . keeping up with the Joneses will be a lot easier now!'

Get better off soon

Part-time workers

"I can feel the economy turning around. Now I only need two jobs to make ends meet."

Down and Out

'Good news...I've not been made redundant.'

'McWit Plumbing and Lite Puff Pastries.' The only way to survive in today's economy it's good to diversify.'

'He is the local gigolo - his pension plan collapsed and he can't afford to retire.'

'Because in this economy you make a few compromises for job security.'

Debt

"Your job is gone and never coming back. Now your unemployment benefits are gone and never coming back."

"I need my car to get to work but I can't afford gas anymore. . ."

'The Board has chosen you to handle the restructuring because you have no heart.'

Stock market Bull & Bear financial whirlwind.

My phone is synced with my tablet, my tablet is synced with my laptop ... but none of them are synced with me."

"The Internet startup had only enough cash for one more day. But, miraculously, the money lasted for eight days, until more venture capital could be raised."

'Money is a bit tight at the moment, so instead of cash we wondered whether you'd settle for 20% more meaningless protestations of how much we value you?'

'Now let's proceed downstairs and see where our stock shares presently sits,'

"A wage increase to match inflation."

'So far we're holding off overseas competition.'

"Here, we realized it was not some awful fever dream."

With the mine closing down due to Emission concerns...somone had to shake their booty to keep food on the table.

'Well, that's simplified the mission statement.'

"Phew! I'm glad this part of the ride is over..."

Eye, ear, nose, throat and loans to pay the bills.

Well you know what they say - here today gone tomorrow - or in the case of dotcoms, here today gone shortly after lunch.

'I am sorry Davis, your bonus is a bit different this year, its all down to cashflow; but you can take your pick.'

'Am I glad to be back - austerity's gone mad out there!'

America's Biggest Export...

Scared employees and manager fighting recession (dragon).

"All in favor of changing out name from '17th Federal Savings & Loan' to 'Still Here Bank'..."

'I hereby sentence you to 40 years labor in an office with fluorescent lighting, just enough salary to keep you alive...'

"The cat walking business didn't go anywhere! Neither did we."

Doctor to man: 'You'll need to empty your pockets. For symbolic purposes, let's start with your wallet.'

'I'm telling you, this is a tough place to work. Pass the pepper spray.'