Financial Survivor Gifts

"On a scale of 0-10, rate your pain caused by out-of-pocket expenses."

Desert island within a purse.

"The job is fine thanks. But I need a second one to enable me to pay my rent ."

"Look at this paycheck! It's practically nothing! Tomorrow, most of this will be gone! And it happens over and over...every two weeks! How do people live like this?"

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

Three gates of hell: marriage counseling, investments, company meetings

'I like the way you handle responsibility, McWit, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

'A few more years in this job and you'll learn how to delegate stress.'

'The Board has chosen you to handle the restructuring because you have no heart.'

'I hope I run out of money before I flunk out.'

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

'Calling Tech Support does NOT count as one of my wishes!'

In and Out Tray

"Bill's a little upset. The boss just chewed him out."

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

"This statement from your headmaster says that you can easily get a good degree...your bank manager says you can't."

Stressed employee says to colleague: 'I think I'm on top of the situation and I hope I'm in the loop, but I can't seem to get ahead of the curve.'

"My career's in shreds, but on the bright side, so are my files."

The Buck Never Stops.

'This is Harris, he's been with the firm some 45 years!'

"Not much. Just enjoying my post-lunch bounce."

Between Offices

'Don't bother cleaning out your desk. We'll be hiring you back as a consultant for half the salary and no benefits.'

"Help! I'm surrounded by idiots."

'Normally, I would give credit where credit is due but we're in a credit crunch. Therefore, I will take all the credit for your hard work on this project.'

"Thank God! Someone to network with!"

"The only thing that's not gone up is the pound."

"I intend to stay in this job, come Hell or high water."

I feel better than ever physically but I'm totally obsolete at work. In life 60 is the new 40. In the workplace 40 is the new 60.

'Mr. McCoy has been expecting you. If you'll have a seat, he should be with you within the next 6 hours.'

"This is bad work, Edwards! Bad! Bad! Bad! Bad!"

'Money is a bit tight at the moment, so instead of cash we wondered whether you'd settle for 20% more meaningless protestations of how much we value you?'

'FIre me and you're in big trouble. I'm on the endangered species list!'

"When I got laid off, the corporation enlisted me in the army."

'My poor darling! Did your boss put you under pressure again?'