Surviving A Stock Market Crash Prints

'It's safe to come out now; they're done recapping today's market.'

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

Stock market Bull & Bear financial whirlwind.

"How have you managed to keep your job?"

Paper Profits Break Glass In Case of Emergency.

The symbol for the euro (?) depicted as the wheel of a wheelchair, symbolising the state of the currency

'This app is linked to my financial advisor and provides simulated hand holding when the market is down.'

'Now let's proceed downstairs and see where our stock shares presently sits,'

'Our fund lost millions, but the good news is our management fees are not based on performance.'

'How long's he been out there?'

"Dow-Jones Index...Dow-Jones Index..."

'Your investments in sub prime mortgages have become collectors items now! Aren't you excited?'

'My investment club had morphed into a support group.'

Economic casualties.

"Let's first talk about how you could have done worse."

Sign reading "Bought High; Sold Low."

"I think it's nice the way we divide the pain in to four equal parts."

'If the market should go down really deep, I'll be well prepared!'

Easy street ends.

'You don't want to go to hell, J.B. In hell, the market is always down.'

'The market was down today substantially on fears that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself.'

'I run a small investment firm. Unfortunately, it used to be a large investment firm.'

Vulture waiting outside a failing business.

'It's day to day, but so far I've survived,'

"First me stock split, then my wife ran away with my broker, then my driverless car drove off without me..."

"You owe your life to that dog. He pulled you to safety. Unfortunately, there's still no sign of the dog ??" or your arm."

"Nothing in my hat. Nothing up my sleeve. And as of right now, ladies and gentlemen, nothing at all left in my goddamn portfolio."

'If it's any consolation, your portfoilo is now in a far better place.'

"Sure, you lost most of your money investing in this stock, but they did give you a participation trophy."

'Since I lost my shirt on the stock market, I now only accept strong currency or gold bullion.'

'Your portfolio took a beating...,but the good news is no humans or animals were injured.'

'The good news is the airline was trying to skimp on fuel, and no terrorists were involved.'t