Survival Comedy Fan Gifts

"At least my putting has improved."

'Dear Diarrhea, Day 84. Well, I'm constipated again today...'

Admit it. We have a drinking problem.

'If we hadn't outsourced the staff, we could've eaten them.'

"Has it occurred to you one of us might be a mirage?"

'Bottled water or other non-carbonated diet beverage!'

"It looks like a pitch for a survival-themed reality show."

"Graveyards always put me ill at ease."

"Dig deep! C'mon! You got this!"

Need tickets.

Artificial intelligence trying to make it on its own.

'I know you're doing your best, but I'm getting awfully tired of cream of coconut soup.'

"What if I told you that everything you knew about slowly going insane on a desert island was wrong?"

No Loitering

One Fine Tuesday in Antarctica

"When you're voted out of "Survivor", I thought they just sent you home!"

"It was at this point St. Paul felt like he could not catch a break!"

'Oh wait, I've got a good one! I spy with my little eye.'

'It's day to day, but so far I've survived,'

'Hey, I know! -- We can dig a basement and wait till it floods!'

'I'm sorry I don't date people from other islands!'

"You are so lucky I keep kosher."

'Only one of you will survive to the end of the series.'

Dying man in desert to friend as vultures approach; 'Amazing! I thought they were more or less extinct!'

A football is dropped to a man stranded on desert island

Eskimo in Igloo

"Karl, act like a stuffed porcupine!"

"Your troubles are nearly over - straight ahead about ten miles."

"Miss Reed, could you please bring me a palm tree and some ragged clothes?"

Koool sunglasses, only $10-.

"I've been as good as I can in a zombie apocalypse."

"It's a pity I'm a vegetarian..."

'Dear Santa, when I asked for a ship, what I meant was...'

'Well, this is not a good sign: Can I have a look at that map of yours?'

"Look! Land! We're saved!"