Survival Satire Fans Gifts

'... And before you get any ideas, I'm a lesbian!'

'Dear Diarrhea, Day 84. Well, I'm constipated again today...'

Admit it. We have a drinking problem.

'If we hadn't outsourced the staff, we could've eaten them.'

"How the hell is that supposed to feed us?"

"Dig deep! C'mon! You got this!"

"Graveyards always put me ill at ease."

'Bottled water or other non-carbonated diet beverage!'

Artificial intelligence trying to make it on its own.

'I know you're doing your best, but I'm getting awfully tired of cream of coconut soup.'

Man looks worried, as his fellow castaway reads book: 'Cannibalism for Dummies'.

"At least my putting has improved."

BARBER

One Fine Tuesday in Antarctica

"When you're voted out of "Survivor", I thought they just sent you home!"

"It was at this point St. Paul felt like he could not catch a break!"

"You are so lucky I keep kosher."

'Only one of you will survive to the end of the series.'

'Hey, I know! -- We can dig a basement and wait till it floods!'

'It's day to day, but so far I've survived,'

'I'm sorry I don't date people from other islands!'

'Oh wait, I've got a good one! I spy with my little eye.'

Dying man in desert to friend as vultures approach; 'Amazing! I thought they were more or less extinct!'

"I've been as good as I can in a zombie apocalypse."

"It's a pity I'm a vegetarian..."

"Miss Reed, could you please bring me a palm tree and some ragged clothes?"

'Dear Santa, when I asked for a ship, what I meant was...'

'Well, this is not a good sign: Can I have a look at that map of yours?'

"Karl, act like a stuffed porcupine!"

Koool sunglasses, only $10-.

"Look! Land! We're saved!"

"What do you mean, 'how can you be sure it's yours'?!"

First Class and Economy Class Desert Island

"I still don't see anything!"