Survival Satire Fans Gifts

'... And before you get any ideas, I'm a lesbian!'

'Dear Diarrhea, Day 84. Well, I'm constipated again today...'

Admit it. We have a drinking problem.

"How the hell is that supposed to feed us?"

'If we hadn't outsourced the staff, we could've eaten them.'

'Bottled water or other non-carbonated diet beverage!'

What? I had to fire our flare gun at him before he fired his flare gun at us!

"Graveyards always put me ill at ease."

"Dig deep! C'mon! You got this!"

Artificial intelligence trying to make it on its own.

Man looks worried, as his fellow castaway reads book: 'Cannibalism for Dummies'.

'I know you're doing your best, but I'm getting awfully tired of cream of coconut soup.'

"At least my putting has improved."

BARBER

One Fine Tuesday in Antarctica

Let's start a book group to read stuff that will help us cope with our lives. Like? You know: Self-help books on housekeeping, child-rearing and navigating difficult workplace situations. Suggestions? Yeah. Jane Eyre, Gone with the Wind and The Devil Wears Prada. The great books series.

"It was at this point St. Paul felt like he could not catch a break!"

"When you're voted out of "Survivor", I thought they just sent you home!"

'Oh wait, I've got a good one! I spy with my little eye.'

'I'm sorry I don't date people from other islands!'

'Only one of you will survive to the end of the series.'

'Hey, I know! -- We can dig a basement and wait till it floods!'

"You are so lucky I keep kosher."

'It's day to day, but so far I've survived,'

Dying man in desert to friend as vultures approach; 'Amazing! I thought they were more or less extinct!'

"Karl, act like a stuffed porcupine!"

"I've been as good as I can in a zombie apocalypse."

"It's a pity I'm a vegetarian..."

'Dear Santa, when I asked for a ship, what I meant was...'

"Miss Reed, could you please bring me a palm tree and some ragged clothes?"

'Well, this is not a good sign: Can I have a look at that map of yours?'

Koool sunglasses, only $10-.

"Look! Land! We're saved!"

"What do you mean, 'how can you be sure it's yours'?!"

"I still don't see anything!"