Survivalist Humor Fans Gifts

Admit it. We have a drinking problem.

'I'd like two pizzas, one with cheese and pepperoni and the other with cheese and sausage. One more thing, do you deliver?'

'No, I didn't know it was hunting season - why do you ask?'

"That's 'Help' with an 'H'."

'You are here' sign on desert island.

"What, no day spa? And you call this a luxury bunker."

"If you got us lost ... I am so eating you first."

"It looks like a pitch for a survival-themed reality show."

'I'm kind of a survivalist myself. I roast my own coffee and distil my own gin.'

"This better be high tide."

"Sure he's cute, but we should have discussed this."

Randy, if you were stranded on an island, what's the one book you'd want to have along with you? Easy: Blood Meridian by Cormac McCarthy. It's got the perfect heft to knock coconuts out of trees. Well, I'd like to have How to Get off an Island, by Archie MacGuyver. That title's actually a metaphor for overcoming shyness. We really should have our own book review show.

"At least my putting has improved."

"I'm next time I spring for the personal Wi-Fi hotspot..."

"Don't even bother – this oasis only has two and a half stars."

'Oh wait, I've got a good one! I spy with my little eye.'

"The problem is, you never know if they're ripe until you bite into one."

'I'm sorry I don't date people from other islands!'

'Hey, I know! -- We can dig a basement and wait till it floods!'

'It's day to day, but so far I've survived,'

Republican Beach. . . Nature Preserve rule: EAT OR BE EATEN!

"I'm increasing your OnlyFan subscription..."

'Are you going anywhere near a chemist?'

'You go ahead. I just don't feel like drinking this afternoon ...'

'I told you. I'll be home with dinner just as soon as it dies.'

'I bet it's nice and warm inside!'

Eskimo in Igloo

Stay in school.

"Your troubles are nearly over - straight ahead about ten miles."

"Will you quit listening to your ten all-time favorite albums and help me find some food!"

NO FACILITIES

Koool sunglasses, only $10-.

'Well, this is not a good sign: Can I have a look at that map of yours?'

Woman on desert island reads message she finds in a bottle: 'It's an ad for a diet club.'

Look! A penny!