Survival Humor Fan Gifts

' Well..That's the last of our water.'

'Throw them back They're not what nine out of ten doctor's recommend for a headache when stranded on a desert island.'

'It's day to day, but so far I've survived,'

'Dear Diarrhea, Day 84. Well, I'm constipated again today...'

'I'd like two pizzas, one with cheese and pepperoni and the other with cheese and sausage. One more thing, do you deliver?'

Admit it. We have a drinking problem.

'No, I didn't know it was hunting season - why do you ask?'

'If we hadn't outsourced the staff, we could've eaten them.'

"That's 'Help' with an 'H'."

"If you got us lost ... I am so eating you first."

"Has it occurred to you one of us might be a mirage?"

'You are here' sign on desert island.

'Bottled water or other non-carbonated diet beverage!'

"It looks like a pitch for a survival-themed reality show."

"What, no day spa? And you call this a luxury bunker."

"Graveyards always put me ill at ease."

"Dig deep! C'mon! You got this!"

Artificial intelligence trying to make it on its own.

'I know you're doing your best, but I'm getting awfully tired of cream of coconut soup.'

'I'm kind of a survivalist myself. I roast my own coffee and distil my own gin.'

"I'm next time I spring for the personal Wi-Fi hotspot..."

"At least my putting has improved."

One Fine Tuesday in Antarctica

"This better be high tide."

"Sure he's cute, but we should have discussed this."

"When you're voted out of "Survivor", I thought they just sent you home!"

"I'm increasing your OnlyFan subscription..."

'I'm sorry I don't date people from other islands!'

"The problem is, you never know if they're ripe until you bite into one."

'Oh wait, I've got a good one! I spy with my little eye.'

'Are you going anywhere near a chemist?'

Republican Beach. . . Nature Preserve rule: EAT OR BE EATEN!

"You are so lucky I keep kosher."

'You go ahead. I just don't feel like drinking this afternoon ...'

'Hey, I know! -- We can dig a basement and wait till it floods!'