Survival Humor Lover Gifts

'This is madness, Ralph. Even if they deliver the pizza, we have no money to pay for it!'

'I'd like two pizzas, one with cheese and pepperoni and the other with cheese and sausage. One more thing, do you deliver?'

Admit it. We have a drinking problem.

'No, I didn't know it was hunting season - why do you ask?'

"Caught another one!" "Let's eat!"

'If we hadn't outsourced the staff, we could've eaten them.'

"That's 'Help' with an 'H'."

"If you got us lost ... I am so eating you first."

"What, no day spa? And you call this a luxury bunker."

'You are here' sign on desert island.

'Bottled water or other non-carbonated diet beverage!'

'I'm kind of a survivalist myself. I roast my own coffee and distil my own gin.'

"This better be high tide."

"I'm next time I spring for the personal Wi-Fi hotspot..."

"Sure he's cute, but we should have discussed this."

"Don't even bother – this oasis only has two and a half stars."

"At least my putting has improved."

'It's day to day, but so far I've survived,'

"The problem is, you never know if they're ripe until you bite into one."

'I'm sorry I don't date people from other islands!'

'You go ahead. I just don't feel like drinking this afternoon ...'

Republican Beach. . . Nature Preserve rule: EAT OR BE EATEN!

'Oh wait, I've got a good one! I spy with my little eye.'

'Are you going anywhere near a chemist?'

"I'm increasing your OnlyFan subscription..."

'Hey, I know! -- We can dig a basement and wait till it floods!'

'I bet it's nice and warm inside!'

Stay in school.

Castaway approach desert island which has 'No Loitering' sign

Woman on desert island reads message she finds in a bottle: 'It's an ad for a diet club.'

"Karl, act like a stuffed porcupine!"

NO FACILITIES

'Dear Santa, when I asked for a ship, what I meant was...'