Surgical Team Gifts

"Ok, let's go over this one more time, 'The Leg Bone's Connected To The. . .'"

"Let's just start cutting and see what happens."

"You'll note, Clammerhorn, the yellow tank is helium."

"The pacemaker implant was fine. But you need to remember the password."

'Gee!' (doctor looking at x-ray)

"Dr. Eliot, would you let the dog out?"

Surgery has sign on wall saying 'To Err is Human.'

A football game appears on the operating theatres monitor instead of the patients heartbeat.

"The good news is that you inherit Mr. Brumble's entire estate, Miss Finster. The bad news is that he owes an outstanding balance to your plastic surgeon!"

'Something needs to be done about the surgery room lights.'

'Say, please.'

"I have 15,000 patients...so my fantasy football team stinks."

"But, for ten million bucks, would you lick it?"

'Well, I'll be...look at this...there's a song in his heart!'

He said he loved her for her brain but was her appendix he was always taking out.

Quick! 5-second rule!

Cleaner with nameplate next to Consultant Surgeon's desk.

'My patient needs a new kidney. Make any grave mistakes today?'

"...and how about you, Wellington? Does this smell funny to you?"

'I wish I could do Search and Rescue too: When you're a Police Dog, the people you find don't actually want to be found...'

Surgeon

"I'm Dr. Fenton. I'll be performing your microsurgery today."

A paramedic-in-training's nightmares.

'I need to reset his internal clock...does anyone have the correct time?'

'Every new neurosurgery intern has to make the joke about the patient having an 'open mind' but then they get over it.'

Covid 19 Christmas Medical Team

"But, for ten million bucks, would you lick it?"

"This time, Joe passes the gas, Sue cuts, Bob retracts and I grab the appendix... wait, better play... I pass the gas, Sue cuts, Lynne holds retractors, Bob grabs the appendix... wait........"

'You clumsy ape! I ask for a hemostat and you hand me a banana. Where'd you go to med school, the Bronx Zoo?'

"Breathe, darn it, breathe!"

Surgery / Canteen - The perplexities of priorites.

"I'm a dynamic pricing consultant."

Knives sharpened

"We lose a little dexterity, but we gain a lot of confidence."

"Two breast implants coming up!"