Surgical Specialist Gifts

'Spend all morning on a cryptorchidectomy...'

'Relax, the operation will be over in no time.'

'Honey, I wish you wouldn't bring your work home with you!'

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

Doctor describes inside guts while patient has black thoughts.

Ice Cream Surgeon

Summer 2000: Children stumble upon the remains of Linda Tripp's old head.

"I'm afraid we'll have to operate. Your appendix has an infection and it's extremely aggressive."

"And I want you to meet Coco, your anesthesiologist."

Doctor pulling golf caddy sees patient pulling oxygen caddy.

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

Surgeon finds a doohickey on the patient's thingamabob.

Medical Building Directory: Dr. Larry Nix, Dr. Sally Putty, etc..

'My mom's the greatest surgeon this side of Mayo brothers.'

Haute Suture

'I'm going to refer you to a specialist in that yucky feeling.'

'ooh! A womb with a view.'

'But they told me to take her down to theatre...'

'Maybe it is psychosomatic.'

There's no such thing as a triple carburetor bypass!

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

"Surgery up here is free!"

Robodoc... the NHS surgeon of the future.

"In case something happens during the surgery and you become incapacitated, have you designated someone to make poor life choices on your behalf?"

The operation was going extremely well, but then very unexpectedly, he got trampled.

'My medical school believed laughter is the best medicine.

"He's going to be O.K., but he still wants you to remarry."

"Yeah, I know. bu tthe administration didn't want to appear culturally insensitive."

'Oh, believe me -- you don't want to hear it in layman's terms!'

'Hello, I'm Dr. Frank Stein and this is my anaesthetist, Dr. Ivan Gore. We'll be doing your hernia operation tomorrow.'