Medical Team Gifts

Mountain rescue team standing on the lost climber.

"This team performed the exact same procedure last week, and today we're hoping to redeem ourselves."

"This time, Joe passes the gas, Sue cuts, Bob retracts and I grab the appendix... wait, better play... I pass the gas, Sue cuts, Lynne holds retractors, Bob grabs the appendix... wait........"

"But, for ten million bucks, would you lick it?"

Covid 19 Christmas Medical Team

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

'I really enjoyed my stay in the hospital - I never get served breakfast in bed at home.'

"That's it lads, 364 days annual leave...what would we have done without our union!"

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

"Get me this...get me that...fluff my pillow...I don't feel well...if I wanted to listen to that all day, I wouldn't have left my husband!"

'Before you see any patients have you completed your hand sterilisation and soap management course?'

Dancing Doctor

"Don't wait up. I'll be working late again tonight."

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

The operation was going extremely well, but then very unexpectedly, he got trampled.

'Do I like kids? You bet I do: I deliver babies for a living...'

'He's our new Bone Specialist!'

'Your master isn't due for release until the first of the month.'

Happy Birthday to you.

'We tend to favour more traditional anaesthetic techniques here.'

'Sorry, staff shortage.'

Nurse pushing the Grim Reaper out of the Surgery room.

"Nurse, when I asked you to make the patient more comfortable I just meant plump up his pillows!"

"This will be a tricky operation."

"When was the last time anyone checked on Mr Klink."

'I do need your bed, Mr. Davies, for me, I'm shattered after working twenty-six hours non stop.'

"Freud doesn't work for you, so I', going to try some Dr. Anthony Fauci..."

"I know — but he was nervous and his support dog didn’t seem to mind."

A Hypochondriac's Worst Nightmare

'Oh, well... Accidents will happen.'

'It's not easy being fabulous and caretaking.'

'Nurse, I said x-ray, not microwave.'

"We've combine the recovery area with the gift shop... just in case your visitors want to pick up a little souvenir."

'I've only come to get my nail back.'