Medical Crew Gifts

"Sorry we're late. We forgot to turn on the siren."

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

'I really enjoyed my stay in the hospital - I never get served breakfast in bed at home.'

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

Dancing Doctor

"Get me this...get me that...fluff my pillow...I don't feel well...if I wanted to listen to that all day, I wouldn't have left my husband!"

'Before you see any patients have you completed your hand sterilisation and soap management course?'

"Don't wait up. I'll be working late again tonight."

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

The operation was going extremely well, but then very unexpectedly, he got trampled.

'Slip Ahoy!'

'Do I like kids? You bet I do: I deliver babies for a living...'

Happy Birthday to you.

'Your master isn't due for release until the first of the month.'

'He's our new Bone Specialist!'

'We tend to favour more traditional anaesthetic techniques here.'

Nurse pushing the Grim Reaper out of the Surgery room.

'Sorry, staff shortage.'

"Nurse, when I asked you to make the patient more comfortable I just meant plump up his pillows!"

Local News in Heaven

"When was the last time anyone checked on Mr Klink."

"This will be a tricky operation."

'I do need your bed, Mr. Davies, for me, I'm shattered after working twenty-six hours non stop.'

"I know — but he was nervous and his support dog didn’t seem to mind."

'Nurse, I said x-ray, not microwave.'

A Hypochondriac's Worst Nightmare

'Oh, well... Accidents will happen.'

'I've only come to get my nail back.'

Mr. Evers specifically asked for a plain coffee, not an espresso.

"We've combine the recovery area with the gift shop... just in case your visitors want to pick up a little souvenir."

Captain looks out of a porthole and notices that the ship is sinking.

'It's not easy being fabulous and caretaking.'

Evolving Changes in Medical Lingo

'I told you not to complain about the hospital food!'