Surgery Squad Member Gifts

"...and how about you, Wellington? Does this smell funny to you?"

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

'Oh, believe me -- you don't want to hear it in layman's terms!'

Nurse pushing the Grim Reaper out of the Surgery room.

"I never imagined I'd be up on my feet this soon."

'G-g-golly! One day out of med school and I'm about to perform brain surgery! Just look at that scalpel shake!'

The AdRams Family no.13 - Exams

'Let's cut right through to the heart of the matter.'

'Yessir, I just finished my first spay...but how did you know?'

'Anaesthetic ok?' - 'Yes, ten double scotches from the pub up the road.'

'You'll be awake during the entire procedure...but no peeking!'

Surgery has sign on wall saying 'To Err is Human.'

"Let's just start cutting and see what happens."

What Sisyphus Learned: "When life gets rough, you sure find out who your friends are!"

A football game appears on the operating theatres monitor instead of the patients heartbeat.

"You can do it!"

"I volunteer for the Samaritans. I tried to phone in sick this morning but they talked me out of it."

He said he loved her for her brain but was her appendix he was always taking out.

'Well, I'll be...look at this...there's a song in his heart!'

'I know we're all terrified of malpractice suits, Bob, but as plastic surgeons, I think we can do a little more than just 'style his hair and call it a day.''hair

"Ok, let's go over this one more time, 'The Leg Bone's Connected To The. . .'"

'Just remember, you're not alone - I'm scared to death, too.'

Anatomy.

"I'm Dr. Fenton. I'll be performing your microsurgery today."

He really puts his heart into it!

The Big Book of Really Hard Surgery

A paramedic-in-training's nightmares.

Several of the med students had been cheerleaders when they were undergrads.

"Well, we saved this attorney. Some poacher shot him and removed his highly-prized fin."

'Whew! Five surgeries in one day! Well, let's try to make this last one end on a happy note!'

'Every new neurosurgery intern has to make the joke about the patient having an 'open mind' but then they get over it.'

'Thanks for allowing these high school students to watch your surgery. Check it out on YouTube!'

REPORT CARD, 'This is going to be tough to spin.'

"The pacemaker implant was fine. But you need to remember the password."

'He really put his heart into it.'