Trauma Team Member Gifts

A paramedic-in-training's nightmares.

"Let's start with an icebreaker..."

'Hey, I'm not paying you people to watch the clock. That's Henderson's job.'

"I'll be glad when they invent PowerPoint."

Welcome to Teamville, Population: 7 ... great people to work with.

Back in a snap (chiropractor).

"Let's just start cutting and see what happens."

"It's good you feel ready to confront your demons. Unfortunately, they're reluctant to face you."

"I'd like to take a few minutes to make a series of promises I have no intention of keeping."

"Ok, let's go over this one more time, 'The Leg Bone's Connected To The. . .'"

"Here is the one pager we all agreed on..."

See? This is precisely why we don't encourage office romances.

Traumatology.

Warning: Cathartic manifestations of childhood trauma next 5 miles

'Ok, there's some duct tape. Are you happy now, Mr. Prima Donna?...'

"...and how about you, Wellington? Does this smell funny to you?"

'What are you doing whining to me about your terrible childhood? Write it all down, you idiot. You've got a bestseller there.'

For Sale: Red Arrow

'Individually we could do nothing. So we formed a committee which determined nothing could be done.'

'He's our team doctor, athletic trainer, chiropractor and psychiatrist all rolled in one.'

"Typing and shorthand will be useful but how are you at handling the unexpected?"

'He's not leaving, but if we collect enough, he might.'

"This time, Joe passes the gas, Sue cuts, Bob retracts and I grab the appendix... wait, better play... I pass the gas, Sue cuts, Lynne holds retractors, Bob grabs the appendix... wait........"

Covid 19 Christmas Medical Team

"But, for ten million bucks, would you lick it?"

"The pacemaker implant was fine. But you need to remember the password."

'It's absolutely important to work together as close as possible. Got me?'

"We lose a little dexterity, but we gain a lot of confidence."

'Don't use that arm... for a day or two!'

'WELL? What do YOU want?'

"Imagination is a quality value in colleagues... but not in our accountant."

Earthquake Research Society. The meeting's over already? Yep --- it was called to order at 8:00 and adjourned at 8:02 by a motion from the floor.

"Our tech team has figured out why you've been so unproductive. Apparently, your computer is over 20 years old. We've ordered you a new one."

"-and give their hunky centre forward a big,juicy smacker from me!"

'He can go back in the game. Its just a bruise.'