Trauma Counselor Gifts

No Phone Signal For 20 Miles. Trauma Counselors Standing by. . .

Sausages.

"Alright! Whoa! Yes! More boiled food!"

'Hey - my dad promised that I'd get a gun.'

"All right, boys, we're had our fun."

"Let's hear some of that scout master wisdom now, sir!"

"It takes a few days for them to detox from screens."

"Each order comes with 10 minutes of free guilt counseling."

"Sorry, but I don't know how to tie a Reef Knot. Give me a simple project, like building a computer."

Building a Shelter

'I prefer the term 'whistleblower' to tattletale.'

"Freud doesn't work for you, so I', going to try some Dr. Anthony Fauci..."

"My brother thinks he's a chicken... He's crazy."

"I was hoping summer camp would be more ... campy."

"You're completely screwed up."

"I just feel like I'm constantly disappointing parents everytime I appear on report cards."

"Maps to stars' rehab centers."

Sunny with a chance of Helium

"And every year on this very day...he creeps into camp and steals everyones electronics."

'Aren't these marshmallows just going to make us plumper for when the bears ultimately eat us?'

'Relax, the largest thing around here that can harm you is an ant.'

Now that we've got all the mosquitoes trapped in here, let's sleep out there.

'Okay guys - lights out!'

Jim Morrison Goes Camping

'All these years we battled the bugs, and all it took was a sign?'

"My wife and I handle our own finances. I'm an accountant and she's a grief counselor."

'He doesn't talk to me anymore.'

"Knowing all the weather rock lore doesn't really count toward the weather badge."

Bear who goes drinking instead of hibernating

Campground Conductor

'I bought winter tyres and it didn't snow.'

'Honey's a real problem for me. Whenever I try to cut back, I just end up binging on campers.'

He was out in no time, with a new outlook and a clean slate.

Hand puppet company boss uses puppet to tell employee: 'You're fired!'

"Whoa! Hey, can we do that?"