Rehabilitation Counselor Gifts

'Maybe you could refer to your time behind bars as 'living in a gated community'.'

"Everybody thinks I'm in rehab."

Woman feeding pigeons crumbs, man feeding children crack.

'I tried to turn my life around, and apparently I made an illegal U-turn.'

Man drunk and unconscious in the street

Morphine & Sugar Withdrawal.

'I remember when you were this high!'

'Watch yourself kid. The inmates and food are great, but the pilates will kill ya.'

"You can never escape from yourself."

"I've got to admit that in reality, 'languishing' is a lot less exotic than it sounds."

The Seeing-Eye Squirrel

"Usually 20 minutes on the jolly jumper and they're ready to join everyone else again."

"Any chance of a fix while I'm in here?"

"I don't feel you're completely rehabilitated so I'm sending you to a quarter way house."

'Your drug rehab seems to be going well...three weeks without a placebo.'

'I've discovered I have an aptitude for accounting!'

'Give yourself up, Rocco, and enter a twelve-step rehab program.'

Correction fluid.

Maps to the Stars Rehab Centres.

'It's the usual story, getting into porn and then hard drugs and things were looking bleak. Then I got parole.'

Practical joke, violent offender rehab center: 'Relate to me!'

'I'm afraid we cannot offer you a position. Your resume is disjointed.'

Sharing needles

"It's either a deep-breathing exercise or...."

Twelve step program.

"Farewell - I don't have to stay here anymore - I'm rehabilitated."

"Maps to stars' rehab centers."

Substance Abuse Seminar: How Not To Get Hooked!

Humpty Dumpty in Occupational Therapy

"Here they come: Detox and Botox."

Dog leading a blind dog and blind person.

"This lovely song tells of a young, pretty actress, her ups and downs, and how she found happiness after rehab."

Cranial-Metal Plate Surgery Centre

"Cops don't get me. Sure, they got me – but they'll ever get me."

He was out in no time, with a new outlook and a clean slate.