Trauma Counselor Pillows

No Phone Signal For 20 Miles. Trauma Counselors Standing by. . .

"Alright! Whoa! Yes! More boiled food!"

Sausages.

"Let's hear some of that scout master wisdom now, sir!"

'Hey - my dad promised that I'd get a gun.'

"All right, boys, we're had our fun."

"It takes a few days for them to detox from screens."

Building a Shelter

"Each order comes with 10 minutes of free guilt counseling."

"Sorry, but I don't know how to tie a Reef Knot. Give me a simple project, like building a computer."

'I prefer the term 'whistleblower' to tattletale.'

"Freud doesn't work for you, so I', going to try some Dr. Anthony Fauci..."

"You're completely screwed up."

"I was hoping summer camp would be more ... campy."

"I just feel like I'm constantly disappointing parents everytime I appear on report cards."

Sunny with a chance of Helium

'Aren't these marshmallows just going to make us plumper for when the bears ultimately eat us?'

'Relax, the largest thing around here that can harm you is an ant.'

"Maps to stars' rehab centers."

"And every year on this very day...he creeps into camp and steals everyones electronics."

Jim Morrison Goes Camping

'Okay guys - lights out!'

'All these years we battled the bugs, and all it took was a sign?'

"Knowing all the weather rock lore doesn't really count toward the weather badge."

Campground Conductor

"My wife and I handle our own finances. I'm an accountant and she's a grief counselor."

Bear who goes drinking instead of hibernating

'He doesn't talk to me anymore.'

'I bought winter tyres and it didn't snow.'

'Honey's a real problem for me. Whenever I try to cut back, I just end up binging on campers.'

He was out in no time, with a new outlook and a clean slate.

Hand puppet company boss uses puppet to tell employee: 'You're fired!'

"Whoa! Hey, can we do that?"

"They took my pellets, man, I been hitting' that lever al day, they took my PELLETS!"