Surgical Satire Seeker Gifts

Clown Angioplasty.

"Whoops..."

"We have a cow AND a pig heart valve. Then, we gave him chicken lips, and a farmhand. I recommend you register him with the USDA."

'Say, aren't you the judge who presided over the trial where I was found guilty of malpractice?'

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

'Well, what do I have?...Within reason, of course.'

"No, I won't write your prescription legibly...you'd just google it and ask a lot of dumb questions."

"Satisfaction, stat!"

'Did you remove my appendix? Yes, both of them.'

"Damn it, nurse! I didn't ask for a twenty. I asked for a ten and two fives."

While you're at it, will you sew on my shirt button please?

"Assisting me with this delicate procedure is Dr. Warren. He's one of the top specialists in avoiding malpractice suits."

"I give up. Where's the patient?'

'Now that's what I call rejection.'

"Your test results are back. We're going to have to remove your appendix and your wallet."

"When Butcher Bob gets back from lunch this one is getting a vasectomy."

"It was a botched surgery."

"If this isn't successful, the next one is on us."

"Norton! Put that back at once!"

'The donor for your face transplant was a Mr. Bonzo.'

'We've GOT to get the bullet out,,,'

'You know what'll do wonders for you? A nose job.'

'Pardon me, Doctor; but exactly where did you study anaesthesiology?'

"Let's just start cutting and see what happens."

Man sees sign on hospital: 'Heart Surgeons Wanted' 'Immediate Openings'

'As for the tonsillectomy...there was a little mix-up... In other words, you now have cup size D!'

'Last year's 'Bring your pet to work day' turned out very well.'

'Dr. Bone's first opening for a new patient is 2 months from now. Will that work for you?'

'So how did you manage to get your saline replaced with lager?'

Surgeons prepare for the world's first loopendectomy. Objective: Remove that part of the brain that plays the same snippet of music over the over and over.

"If it's an expensive surgery, we now implant a GPS tracking device for the hospital's collections department."

'Brain surgery, Harold? Have you lost your mind?!'

"And there we have it, gentlemen! The first full face transplant swap of twins."

"Take one three times a day and come back in 43 years."

'My patient needs a new kidney. Make any grave mistakes today?'