Surgical Satire Seeker Pillows

"Whoops..."

'Say, aren't you the judge who presided over the trial where I was found guilty of malpractice?'

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

'Well, what do I have?...Within reason, of course.'

'Did you remove my appendix? Yes, both of them.'

"Satisfaction, stat!"

"Damn it, nurse! I didn't ask for a twenty. I asked for a ten and two fives."

"Assisting me with this delicate procedure is Dr. Warren. He's one of the top specialists in avoiding malpractice suits."

While you're at it, will you sew on my shirt button please?

"I give up. Where's the patient?'

'Now that's what I call rejection.'

"It was a botched surgery."

"When Butcher Bob gets back from lunch this one is getting a vasectomy."

"Norton! Put that back at once!"

'We've GOT to get the bullet out,,,'

"Your test results are back. We're going to have to remove your appendix and your wallet."

'The donor for your face transplant was a Mr. Bonzo.'

'You know what'll do wonders for you? A nose job.'

"If this isn't successful, the next one is on us."

'Pardon me, Doctor; but exactly where did you study anaesthesiology?'

Man sees sign on hospital: 'Heart Surgeons Wanted' 'Immediate Openings'

"Let's just start cutting and see what happens."

'As for the tonsillectomy...there was a little mix-up... In other words, you now have cup size D!'

'Last year's 'Bring your pet to work day' turned out very well.'

'Dr. Bone's first opening for a new patient is 2 months from now. Will that work for you?'

Surgeons prepare for the world's first loopendectomy. Objective: Remove that part of the brain that plays the same snippet of music over the over and over.

'So how did you manage to get your saline replaced with lager?'

"If it's an expensive surgery, we now implant a GPS tracking device for the hospital's collections department."

"And there we have it, gentlemen! The first full face transplant swap of twins."

'Brain surgery, Harold? Have you lost your mind?!'

"Take one three times a day and come back in 43 years."

'My patient needs a new kidney. Make any grave mistakes today?'

"I'm afraid we've had to move him to expensive care."

'You can have general anesthesia or just be numbed from the wallet down.'

'Remember the NHS ethos; if it ain't broke, break it. Then make sure it can't be mended.'