Surgery Jokester Gifts

Quick! 5-second rule!

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

Man is stopped from entering doctor's surgery by a receptionist dressed as a bouncer.

"Until the plaster sets, try not to laugh."

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

Virtual Doctor

"So, let's catch a wellness wave!"

'The doctors all tell me that you have great medical insurance. They think your coverage might last through most of the tests that they have scheduled.'

"As soon as your dentist gets here, we'll begin."

'Take two and call me from the Emergency room.'

"Assisting me with this delicate procedure is Dr. Warren. He's one of the top specialists in avoiding malpractice suits."

Current location

'Could you stay out of the room for awhile, Nurse? -- Every time you walk in here, his testosterone levels surge.'

Cardiologist Henry Weil like to add some levity before surgery by hiding a whoopee cushion on the operating table.

"It was a botched surgery."

'You know what'll do wonders for you? A nose job.'

There aren't any serious side effects — just an occasional Elvis sighting.

'Don't worry about your heart - it will last you till the end of your days. . .!'

'Good help is hard to find, so I decided to clone myself.'

'It's always about you isn't it, George? Wouldn't you like to hear about the terrible day I've had for a change?'

'Brain surgery, Harold? Have you lost your mind?!'

"Uh, try unplugging him, then plugging him back in."

Pharmaco. He writes drug side effect warnings. Ah, a health scare provider.

"And it'll stay clamped until you play my Usher CD."

'I've a horrible feeling I've left one of the implements inside the patient, Chang.'

'I've had so many transplants, I feel like a garden nursery.'

"Fortunately, we have an excellent selection!"

Pinocchio has a nose job.

Clinic. Let's see … Have there been any injuries, digestive disorders or malpractice suits today? Nope - No hits, no runs, no errors.

"Rolling pizza cutter."

Heart Rate, Respiration, Insurance Remaining.

'Two scalpels and a nurses hat are missing...'

"Next time you give CPR try not to use your tongue."

Reflex Testing -"...and you're sure you can't feel it"