Surgery Jokester T-Shirts

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

Man is stopped from entering doctor's surgery by a receptionist dressed as a bouncer.

"Until the plaster sets, try not to laugh."

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

Virtual Doctor

"So, let's catch a wellness wave!"

'The doctors all tell me that you have great medical insurance. They think your coverage might last through most of the tests that they have scheduled.'

"As soon as your dentist gets here, we'll begin."

'Take two and call me from the Emergency room.'

Current location

"Assisting me with this delicate procedure is Dr. Warren. He's one of the top specialists in avoiding malpractice suits."

'Could you stay out of the room for awhile, Nurse? -- Every time you walk in here, his testosterone levels surge.'

'Don't worry about your heart - it will last you till the end of your days. . .!'

'You know what'll do wonders for you? A nose job.'

"It was a botched surgery."

"Uh, try unplugging him, then plugging him back in."

'Brain surgery, Harold? Have you lost your mind?!'

Pinocchio has a nose job.

"Rolling pizza cutter."

'Good help is hard to find, so I decided to clone myself.'

'I've a horrible feeling I've left one of the implements inside the patient, Chang.'

"Fortunately, we have an excellent selection!"

'I've had so many transplants, I feel like a garden nursery.'

'It's always about you isn't it, George? Wouldn't you like to hear about the terrible day I've had for a change?'

Heart Rate, Respiration, Insurance Remaining.

'Two scalpels and a nurses hat are missing...'

"Next time you give CPR try not to use your tongue."

'So did you want the ectomy, or just the otomy?'

Reflex Testing -"...and you're sure you can't feel it"