Surgical Joker Gifts

'Stick...'

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

Virtual Doctor

"Sorry, that's not my table."

"So, let's catch a wellness wave!"

"Damn it, nurse! I didn't ask for a twenty. I asked for a ten and two fives."

"As soon as your dentist gets here, we'll begin."

Current location

"Assisting me with this delicate procedure is Dr. Warren. He's one of the top specialists in avoiding malpractice suits."

"I give up. Where's the patient?'

'Don't worry about your heart - it will last you till the end of your days. . .!'

"Norton! Put that back at once!"

"I think you may have your gown on back to front."

"Let's just start cutting and see what happens."

'Brain surgery, Harold? Have you lost your mind?!'

'Good help is hard to find, so I decided to clone myself.'

"Uh, try unplugging him, then plugging him back in."

'I've a horrible feeling I've left one of the implements inside the patient, Chang.'

Pinocchio has a nose job.

"Rolling pizza cutter."

Heart Rate, Respiration, Insurance Remaining.

'Two scalpels and a nurses hat are missing...'

Why dogs are not hired to do bone scans

'There's been unexpected complications involving your husband's bill.'

Reflex Testing -"...and you're sure you can't feel it"

Doctor, I can't feel my legs! I know you can't, I had to amputate your arms.

Be careful how you unwrap it I think it MIGHT be his stool sample!

'Malpractice? No - it's not our dog.'

Patient charts

"Hey Frank, how was your colonoscopy?" "In and out."

'I'm afraid it's bad news Mister Kane...You've got 'Shingles'.'