Surgical Jester Gifts

"....And Mother Yancy will be assisting the reattachment team this morning..."

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

"Unless one is a humorist, Haskins. One should avoid attempts at humor."

'WELL, that certainly was a frank discussion! Shall we proceed to the inevitable apologies, retractions and clarifications?'

'Cut down on sodium? I'm taking that with a pinch of salt.'

"I give up. Where's the patient?'

Ski kicker.

"Humiliation is a very important part of the the process, Mr. Keifer."

'I finnaly located what was causing that hissing sound on the tractor.'

"When I want your advice, I'll ask for it... but in an oblique, face-saving way."

Man Tries Use Telescope In Observatory As Cannon.

"Uh, try unplugging him, then plugging him back in."

'Thanks for making it guys. Come on in and pull up a chair.' A square hole in an office floor where chairs can be pulled up from

Dentist Trip

Show Jumping Tantrums

'There's been unexpected complications involving your husband's bill.'

"He may only be three years old, but he has 21 years of tech experience."

'Malpractice? No - it's not our dog.'

'Ambitious? You sit there admitting you're a troublemaker!'

Surgeon Finds Heart Reading 'Be my Valentine'.

'I said that I didn't want to be interrupted...'

We're prepared to offer you a starting salary in the low six figures...if you count the decimal.

"Do you carry generic placebos?"

'Open your mouth and say 'Ah' -- I'm going to try some anti-virus software.'

"I've decided to be an organ donor."

"Oh, nuts – I forgot why I came out here."

"Got it!"

Nurse cautioning a patient

"We're trying to save your husband."

'Um ... no - I said we'll need a stool sample.'

Nil By Ear