Surgical Jester Gifts

"....And Mother Yancy will be assisting the reattachment team this morning..."

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

"Unless one is a humorist, Haskins. One should avoid attempts at humor."

'WELL, that certainly was a frank discussion! Shall we proceed to the inevitable apologies, retractions and clarifications?'

'Cut down on sodium? I'm taking that with a pinch of salt.'

"I give up. Where's the patient?'

You make me feel more like a veterinarian than a psychiatrist, Al. Why is that, Dr. Kapuchnik? Because you're one sick puppy.

Ski kicker.

"Humiliation is a very important part of the the process, Mr. Keifer."

'I finnaly located what was causing that hissing sound on the tractor.'

"Uh, try unplugging him, then plugging him back in."

"When I want your advice, I'll ask for it... but in an oblique, face-saving way."

'Thanks for making it guys. Come on in and pull up a chair.' A square hole in an office floor where chairs can be pulled up from

Dentist Trip

Man Tries Use Telescope In Observatory As Cannon.

Quick! 5-second rule!

Show Jumping Tantrums

'There's been unexpected complications involving your husband's bill.'

'Malpractice? No - it's not our dog.'

"He may only be three years old, but he has 21 years of tech experience."

'I said that I didn't want to be interrupted...'

'Ambitious? You sit there admitting you're a troublemaker!'

Surgeon Finds Heart Reading 'Be my Valentine'.

'Is he taking the piss?'

We're prepared to offer you a starting salary in the low six figures...if you count the decimal.

'Open your mouth and say 'Ah' -- I'm going to try some anti-virus software.'

"Do you carry generic placebos?"

'...I mean on the one hand you have a set of avaricious money and status obsessed paper shuffler...'

"I've decided to be an organ donor."

'Um ... no - I said we'll need a stool sample.'

"Got it!"

Nurse cautioning a patient

Now that you're awake, pack up your stuff. -Your former boss.

"Oh, nuts – I forgot why I came out here."