Procedure Jester Gifts

"Damn! - I forget . . . I'm supposed to give two weeks' notice . . . !"

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"And as soon as he's on the mend,we'll get the physiotherapist in here with a ball of twine."

"We're following Carrot Top."

'Kimble, I'm going to give you a chance at purchasing - nip over to the cafe and get me a cheese and pickle sandwich.'

Stepping on clown's shoe...

"Just how long has there been a maraschino cherry at the top of the organizational chart?"

Is there a spin doctor in the house?

'Cut down on sodium? I'm taking that with a pinch of salt.'

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

"We can give you enough medication to alleviate the pain, but not enough to make it fun."

'I want a win-win situation where both wins are ours.'

"When you hear me begin talking about our lousy sales figures, you guys create a distraction."

Ski kicker.

"Jane is sales, Fred is accounting, and Johnny's song and dance."

"I'm popping out for a tinkle."

'Any questions?'

'When you are done balancing in your chair we will continue the meeting.'

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

When Managers have a Four Seasons pizza.

"I don't like these sales figures. Prepare them in another color and font and resubmit them."

'All those in favour of my new proposal say aye. Those against, also say aye.'

"Very good Carter, but when you said you wanted to show us your Powerpoint we assumed you meant presentation!"

"OK, you're going to feel a little prick, followed by a burning desire to sue me."

Travelling jesters. No fools left aboard overnight.

'Make sport of the Queen.'

'I'm looking for someone who can make me laugh.'

'Sorry, but we can't serve you the grande size anymore without a prescription.'

'Ringing in your ears, you say?'

Show Jumping Tantrums

"We're bears you fool, we don't need agendas!"

"We have a clear work/life policy. . . If you have a life, you get more work."

'I told the jester he could take April Fool's Day off.'

'There's been unexpected complications involving your husband's bill.'

Never poke fun.