Operating Room Jester Gifts

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"I can catch-you can't throw."

Nurse cautioning a patient

Surgeon Finds Heart Reading 'Be my Valentine'.

"Hold it. I'd like a second opinion!"

"We have to stop meeting this way, Allison!"

'Maybe it is psychosomatic.'

"Sorry, that's not my table."

"Damn it, nurse! I didn't ask for a twenty. I asked for a ten and two fives."

'These computer repair people certainly take their jobs seriously.'

"I give up. Where's the patient?'

"If this isn't successful, the next one is on us."

"Norton! Put that back at once!"

'Pardon me, Doctor; but exactly where did you study anaesthesiology?'

'You'll be awake during the entire procedure...but no peeking!'

"I think you may have your gown on back to front."

"Let's just start cutting and see what happens."

'Say, please.'

'My patient needs a new kidney. Make any grave mistakes today?'

'There's been unexpected complications involving your husband's bill.'

"...and how about you, Wellington? Does this smell funny to you?"

'Sure your attorney can be in the operating room, during you surgery, but we'll have to give him anesthesia too.'

Surgery / Canteen - The perplexities of priorites.

"Got it!"

'Doctor, I don't think the five-second rule applies to transplant organs.'

'You're wrong...this is brain surgery.'

"You know that feeling when you walk into a room and can't remember why you're there..."

The Grim Reaper as a surgical assistant.

"....And Mother Yancy will be assisting the reattachment team this morning..."

"He did it again. Slipped out and replaced himself with a bunch of lumpy pillows."

'There's a cake in the Drs. lounge. Happy 5,000th surgery!'

CLINIC, 'Are you worried about passing your blood test?', 'Heck, no -- anybody can BLEED.'

"Curl your fingers to avoid cuts when slicing or chopping...I learned that trick on a TV cooking show!"

'Lunch!'

'Forgive the interruption, but can the surgeon wait until after he operates on me to play his chess.'