Operating Room Hero Gifts

'There's a cake in the Drs. lounge. Happy 5,000th surgery!'

'Honey, I wish you wouldn't bring your work home with you!'

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract."

Dancing Doctor

'Before you see any patients have you completed your hand sterilisation and soap management course?'

'Maybe it is psychosomatic.'

"Unfortunately, there's no cure—there's not even a race for a cure."

"Sorry, that's not my table."

Kid with plaster cast being sawn off.

'What's holding him up?'

'Could you be more specific than you feel zucky?'

"Damn it, nurse! I didn't ask for a twenty. I asked for a ten and two fives."

"You're sick of this? Just try to imagine how we feel."

Doctor receiving advice from patient's mother

"...we have a heart-lung-kidney-liver-spleen machine."

'The doctor will be with you shortly, he's finishing medical school.'

"I'm sure he'll pull through. He's always been a real fighter."

"It appears your anus transplant has rejected you..."

'These computer repair people certainly take their jobs seriously.'

Medical Examinations.

"Which one goes down his bronchial tract and which one goes up his arse?"

'...but besides this, how are you doing?'

'In the doctor's defense, there have been no serious post operative complications.'

"Dr. Eliot, would you let the dog out?"

'Very funny!'

'Pardon me, Doctor; but exactly where did you study anaesthesiology?'

"If this isn't successful, the next one is on us."

"Norton! Put that back at once!"

'You'll be awake during the entire procedure...but no peeking!'

"You call all this a side effect?"

"First, do no harm. After that, go nuts."

Surgery has sign on wall saying 'To Err is Human.'

"They also left a pamphlet on the benefits of breast feeding."

'We're trying to use a team approach to medicine, but we're having trouble fitting everyone!'

"I think you may have your gown on back to front."