Operating Room Artist Gifts

"Is it 'pearl one knit one'...or 'knit one pearl one' I always forget!"

'Maybe it is psychosomatic.'

"Sorry, that's not my table."

"Damn it, nurse! I didn't ask for a twenty. I asked for a ten and two fives."

'These computer repair people certainly take their jobs seriously.'

"I give up. Where's the patient?'

'In the doctor's defense, there have been no serious post operative complications.'

"Norton! Put that back at once!"

'Pardon me, Doctor; but exactly where did you study anaesthesiology?'

'You'll be awake during the entire procedure...but no peeking!'

"If this isn't successful, the next one is on us."

"I think you may have your gown on back to front."

"Let's just start cutting and see what happens."

"And it'll stay clamped until you play my Usher CD."

Say, aren't you my old shop teacher who said I couldn't cut a straight line to save my life?

'Say, please.'

'My patient needs a new kidney. Make any grave mistakes today?'

"...and how about you, Wellington? Does this smell funny to you?"

An aspiring magician as well as a top notch surgeon, Dr.Curmbott always tried the old tablecloth trick after each operation.'

Surgery / Canteen - The perplexities of priorites.

'Where's the first-aid kit?'

'Doctor, I don't think the five-second rule applies to transplant organs.'

"Oh. I know what that organ is! Wait, don't tell me."

'You're wrong...this is brain surgery.'

The Grim Reaper as a surgical assistant.

"You know that feeling when you walk into a room and can't remember why you're there..."

'Lunch!'

"Curl your fingers to avoid cuts when slicing or chopping...I learned that trick on a TV cooking show!"

Operating table.

'There's a cake in the Drs. lounge. Happy 5,000th surgery!'

'Forgive the interruption, but can the surgeon wait until after he operates on me to play his chess.'

'I'm going to administer the anaesthetic.' - 'Okay.' - 'You might feel a little prick in your hand...' - '...as the bishop said to the-' - 'Men are less irritating under anaesthetic.' - 'Zzz...'

"I'm sorry John, but your back surgery has been placed on back order."

Wow, is that the new lithotripter? No, it's the new Dolby surround sound system, with extra-tech woofers.

"Okay go ahead, but I say the appendix is on the right."