Operating Room Comic Gifts

An aspiring magician as well as a top notch surgeon, Dr.Curmbott always tried the old tablecloth trick after each operation.'

'Maybe it is psychosomatic.'

"Sorry, that's not my table."

"Damn it, nurse! I didn't ask for a twenty. I asked for a ten and two fives."

'These computer repair people certainly take their jobs seriously.'

"I give up. Where's the patient?'

"Norton! Put that back at once!"

'Pardon me, Doctor; but exactly where did you study anaesthesiology?'

"If this isn't successful, the next one is on us."

'You'll be awake during the entire procedure...but no peeking!'

"I think you may have your gown on back to front."

"Let's just start cutting and see what happens."

Say, aren't you my old shop teacher who said I couldn't cut a straight line to save my life?

"And it'll stay clamped until you play my Usher CD."

'Say, please.'

'My patient needs a new kidney. Make any grave mistakes today?'

"...and how about you, Wellington? Does this smell funny to you?"

Surgery / Canteen - The perplexities of priorites.

'Where's the first-aid kit?'

'Doctor, I don't think the five-second rule applies to transplant organs.'

"Oh. I know what that organ is! Wait, don't tell me."

'You're wrong...this is brain surgery.'

"You know that feeling when you walk into a room and can't remember why you're there..."

The Grim Reaper as a surgical assistant.

'There's a cake in the Drs. lounge. Happy 5,000th surgery!'

'Lunch!'

"He did it again. Slipped out and replaced himself with a bunch of lumpy pillows."

"Curl your fingers to avoid cuts when slicing or chopping...I learned that trick on a TV cooking show!"

'Forgive the interruption, but can the surgeon wait until after he operates on me to play his chess.'

'I'm going to administer the anaesthetic.' - 'Okay.' - 'You might feel a little prick in your hand...' - '...as the bishop said to the-' - 'Men are less irritating under anaesthetic.' - 'Zzz...'

"Okay go ahead, but I say the appendix is on the right."

"I'm sorry John, but your back surgery has been placed on back order."

"Now with a firm twist, I'll remove his attorney."

"I just want to say before you go under that I'm super excited as this is my first time."

Operating room attendent explaining 'And this one is wired directly to his lawyer...'