Operating Room Comedian Gifts

'Forgive the interruption, but can the surgeon wait until after he operates on me to play his chess.'

A Doctor sewing up a Patient's incision with a sewing machine.

'Nurse, turn the basketball game up. This is a painful procedure,so I don't want to miss the game due to the patient's screaming.'

"Norton! Put that back at once!"

'Maybe it is psychosomatic.'

'Will I live Doctor?' 'Yes, but I don't advise it!'

"Sorry, that's not my table."

"Damn it, nurse! I didn't ask for a twenty. I asked for a ten and two fives."

'These computer repair people certainly take their jobs seriously.'

"I give up. Where's the patient?'

"Your IQ came back negative."

'Could you stay out of the room for awhile, Nurse? -- Every time you walk in here, his testosterone levels surge.'

"If this isn't successful, the next one is on us."

"Look, look … someone wrote unoperable."

Tin Can Operation.

'You'll be awake during the entire procedure...but no peeking!'

"If it's nothing serious' why did you put on five pairs of gloves?"

'Pardon me, Doctor; but exactly where did you study anaesthesiology?'

"I think you may have your gown on back to front."

"Whoops..."

"Let's just start cutting and see what happens."

"Any improvement since I brought the balloon?"

Surgery Instructions.

"That's a semi-private room for you. You caught his, and he caught yours."

"No wonder I'm getting feedback!"

'Say, please.'

"I hope your cast is not itchy, Stacy. I had an itchy cast on my arm once and it itched ALL the time. It felt like crawling ants! Itchy, itchy, itchy..."

"And it'll stay clamped until you play my Usher CD."

'My patient needs a new kidney. Make any grave mistakes today?'

"...and how about you, Wellington? Does this smell funny to you?"

'Is it bad news, doctor?'

'He said, but for you he wouldn't have stuck your credit card to the roof of his mouth in the first place...'

An aspiring magician as well as a top notch surgeon, Dr.Curmbott always tried the old tablecloth trick after each operation.'

'Sure your attorney can be in the operating room, during you surgery, but we'll have to give him anesthesia too.'

"... No, it's not true that you can't eat anything after surgery - you can have lots of choices, like ice chips in a cup, ice chips in a bowl, ice chips a la ice..."