Operation Room Comedian Gifts

Surgeons' Changing Room / Surgeons on manslaughter charge.

'Will I live Doctor?' 'Yes, but I don't advise it!'

"Sorry, that's not my table."

"I give up. Where's the patient?'

"Your IQ came back negative."

'Could you stay out of the room for awhile, Nurse? -- Every time you walk in here, his testosterone levels surge.'

"Look, look … someone wrote unoperable."

'Pardon me, Doctor; but exactly where did you study anaesthesiology?'

"If it's nothing serious' why did you put on five pairs of gloves?"

Tin Can Operation.

"Norton! Put that back at once!"

"I think you may have your gown on back to front."

"Let's just start cutting and see what happens."

"Any improvement since I brought the balloon?"

Surgery Instructions.

"I hope your cast is not itchy, Stacy. I had an itchy cast on my arm once and it itched ALL the time. It felt like crawling ants! Itchy, itchy, itchy..."

"That's a semi-private room for you. You caught his, and he caught yours."

"No wonder I'm getting feedback!"

'Say, please.'

"...and how about you, Wellington? Does this smell funny to you?"

'Is it bad news, doctor?'

'He said, but for you he wouldn't have stuck your credit card to the roof of his mouth in the first place...'

'Sure your attorney can be in the operating room, during you surgery, but we'll have to give him anesthesia too.'

"I'm removing the liver.. No, the kidneys... Presure, pressure, what's that blobby thing?"

"... No, it's not true that you can't eat anything after surgery - you can have lots of choices, like ice chips in a cup, ice chips in a bowl, ice chips a la ice..."

"Got it!"

Nurse cautioning a patient

"It's a 'get worse soon card' from your ex wife."

"I'm glad you've been able to find new hires, but that's not what I meant when I said that we have a radiologist shortage to deal with."

The Grim Reaper as a surgical assistant.

"You know that feeling when you walk into a room and can't remember why you're there..."

"I've been under a lot of pressure to get well."