Operation Room Comedian Gifts

Surgeons' Changing Room / Surgeons on manslaughter charge.

'Will I live Doctor?' 'Yes, but I don't advise it!'

"Sorry, that's not my table."

"I give up. Where's the patient?'

"Your IQ came back negative."

'Could you stay out of the room for awhile, Nurse? -- Every time you walk in here, his testosterone levels surge.'

Tin Can Operation.

"Look, look … someone wrote unoperable."

"Norton! Put that back at once!"

'Pardon me, Doctor; but exactly where did you study anaesthesiology?'

"If it's nothing serious' why did you put on five pairs of gloves?"

"I think you may have your gown on back to front."

"Let's just start cutting and see what happens."

"Any improvement since I brought the balloon?"

Surgery Instructions.

"That's a semi-private room for you. You caught his, and he caught yours."

"No wonder I'm getting feedback!"

"And it'll stay clamped until you play my Usher CD."

"I hope your cast is not itchy, Stacy. I had an itchy cast on my arm once and it itched ALL the time. It felt like crawling ants! Itchy, itchy, itchy..."

'Say, please.'

"...and how about you, Wellington? Does this smell funny to you?"

'Is it bad news, doctor?'

'He said, but for you he wouldn't have stuck your credit card to the roof of his mouth in the first place...'

An aspiring magician as well as a top notch surgeon, Dr.Curmbott always tried the old tablecloth trick after each operation.'

'Sure your attorney can be in the operating room, during you surgery, but we'll have to give him anesthesia too.'

"I'm removing the liver.. No, the kidneys... Presure, pressure, what's that blobby thing?"

"... No, it's not true that you can't eat anything after surgery - you can have lots of choices, like ice chips in a cup, ice chips in a bowl, ice chips a la ice..."

Nurse cautioning a patient

"It's a 'get worse soon card' from your ex wife."

"Got it!"

Your body initially rejected the new kidney, but after we pumped you full of liquor, your body found the new kidney kind of attractive. We'll see what happens in the morning, though.

"Oh. I know what that organ is! Wait, don't tell me."

"I'm glad you've been able to find new hires, but that's not what I meant when I said that we have a radiologist shortage to deal with."

"You know that feeling when you walk into a room and can't remember why you're there..."

The Grim Reaper as a surgical assistant.