Operation Room Aficionado Gifts

"Can you put one in him, he's an MP."

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

'Maybe it is psychosomatic.'

Nurse pushing the Grim Reaper out of the Surgery room.

"Damn it, nurse! I didn't ask for a twenty. I asked for a ten and two fives."

'G-g-golly! One day out of med school and I'm about to perform brain surgery! Just look at that scalpel shake!'

'These computer repair people certainly take their jobs seriously.'

'Let's cut right through to the heart of the matter.'

"I give up. Where's the patient?'

'Yessir, I just finished my first spay...but how did you know?'

"Norton! Put that back at once!"

'You'll be awake during the entire procedure...but no peeking!'

'Pardon me, Doctor; but exactly where did you study anaesthesiology?'

'Anaesthetic ok?' - 'Yes, ten double scotches from the pub up the road.'

"If this isn't successful, the next one is on us."

Surgery has sign on wall saying 'To Err is Human.'

"Let's just start cutting and see what happens."

A football game appears on the operating theatres monitor instead of the patients heartbeat.

He said he loved her for her brain but was her appendix he was always taking out.

"And it'll stay clamped until you play my Usher CD."

'Well, I'll be...look at this...there's a song in his heart!'

'Say, please.'

Say, aren't you my old shop teacher who said I couldn't cut a straight line to save my life?

'Just remember, you're not alone - I'm scared to death, too.'

'My patient needs a new kidney. Make any grave mistakes today?'

Anatomy.

"...and how about you, Wellington? Does this smell funny to you?"

"Well, we saved this attorney. Some poacher shot him and removed his highly-prized fin."

The Big Book of Really Hard Surgery

"I'm Dr. Fenton. I'll be performing your microsurgery today."

Several of the med students had been cheerleaders when they were undergrads.

He really puts his heart into it!

'Whew! Five surgeries in one day! Well, let's try to make this last one end on a happy note!'

'Thanks for allowing these high school students to watch your surgery. Check it out on YouTube!'

'He really put his heart into it.'