Kitchen Operating Room Enthusiast Gifts

Operating table.

'Maybe it is psychosomatic.'

"Damn it, nurse! I didn't ask for a twenty. I asked for a ten and two fives."

'These computer repair people certainly take their jobs seriously.'

"If this isn't successful, the next one is on us."

'Pardon me, Doctor; but exactly where did you study anaesthesiology?'

"Norton! Put that back at once!"

'You'll be awake during the entire procedure...but no peeking!'

"Let's just start cutting and see what happens."

'Say, please.'

Say, aren't you my old shop teacher who said I couldn't cut a straight line to save my life?

He said he loved her for her brain but was her appendix he was always taking out.

'My patient needs a new kidney. Make any grave mistakes today?'

"...and how about you, Wellington? Does this smell funny to you?"

'Where's the first-aid kit?'

'Doctor, I don't think the five-second rule applies to transplant organs.'

'You're wrong...this is brain surgery.'

The Grim Reaper as a surgical assistant.

"You know that feeling when you walk into a room and can't remember why you're there..."

"Curl your fingers to avoid cuts when slicing or chopping...I learned that trick on a TV cooking show!"

"I sympathize. It's weird for me too."

"He did it again. Slipped out and replaced himself with a bunch of lumpy pillows."

'Lunch!'

'Forgive the interruption, but can the surgeon wait until after he operates on me to play his chess.'

'I'm going to administer the anaesthetic.' - 'Okay.' - 'You might feel a little prick in your hand...' - '...as the bishop said to the-' - 'Men are less irritating under anaesthetic.' - 'Zzz...'

'I'm just opening him now. Stand by and I will give you a detailed description of what I find inside your husband...uh...hello?'

"I'm sorry John, but your back surgery has been placed on back order."

"Okay go ahead, but I say the appendix is on the right."

"Now with a firm twist, I'll remove his attorney."

"I just want to say before you go under that I'm super excited as this is my first time."

Operating room attendent explaining 'And this one is wired directly to his lawyer...'

A Doctor sewing up a Patient's incision with a sewing machine.

"You're doing it wrong."