Supermarket Satirist Gifts

Express till 'Ten over priced items or less'

Fat Free Food, Salt Free Food, Cholesterol Free Food and Food Free Food.

Unbottled water is for sale next to bottled water in supermarket aisle.

Stack your own/Fly to China and make your own/Scan your own.

'The stuff legends are made of'

Dramatic readings of food labels.

'Next smile please!'

"Personally, I think it should read 'next misery guts'."

'I just couldn't think of the word poultry.'

That was 16 items.

Christmas carol: 'Blow your budget stuff your trolley, tr-la-la-la-laaa-la-la-la-la...'

Woman with sardine tin with warning that it may contain mutant whale-size sardines.

'Mam, I can't ring this up. It doesn't have a barcode.'

Crime scene outline on the floor of a grocery store.

10 items or less queue. (Woman has thrown eggs onto floor).

'This is the express lane. You're limited to 9 coupons.'

Four horsemen of the apocalypse.

Man looking at a sign that reads: 'Self Checkout' by the edge of a cliff.

Undertakers' supermarket.

Fat man picking up women in supermarket

5 foot high or less aisle in a supermarket

Tallit barcode

Live chickens shivering above a frozen food case. Below them is a sign that reads, 'Frozen chicken thighs.'

My zip code? It's 47711, what's yours?

'Do these burgers taste funny to you?'

"My milk is gonna spoil if I stand here any longer."

Butter, Margarine, Middle-Aged Spread.

"It's the new affordable budget range."

"You're five items short. You'll have to use the express lane. This checkout is 16 items or more only."

"What I think of those queues at the supermarket?"

Frozen Food - Pick Your Own

"Butcher!"

"You can perform a satanic ritual in the poultry department when you're older."

"Ok. All checked out. Want me to round up the shopping carts in the parking lot, now?"

12 items or less. 12 items or else.