Supermarket Satire Admirer Gifts

Eye of Newt Helper

"When we changed the company name, the stocks went through the roof!"

"Goodness! These tomatoes look so good!"

Witches Checkout.

Pirates at the mall.

They get into debt so fast these days...

"What would you suggest to fill the dark, empty spaces in my soul?"

Seven deadly sins shopping plaza

What if retail stores behaved like websites?

'I just couldn't think of the word poultry.'

"Once you break through the plastic clamshell and blister packs, there won't be any packaging left!"

'The stuff legends are made of'

A sign outside the "Museum of Modern Gift Items" reads "T-shirts of the Masters Sale".

'How do I know if it's seaworthy?'

Med. Soc Sec. Can we agree on anything to reduce the deficit other than a bake sale?

Frozen Food - Pick Your Own

"So the only way to save the economy is to spend what we haven't got - plus ca change - moin ca change!"

GM Foods.

'Bag? Any vouchers? Like a packer? If you have two of those... What type of apples are these?'

'That's the last time I send you shopping!'

'Derek knew that someone, somewhere must have designed a car with a shopping basket.'

5 foot high or less aisle in a supermarket

U.S. Male - Part Five

'Yes?'

'Darn it! The bar code doesn't seem to be working. . . flip him over and let's try the other side. . .'

Woman with sardine tin with warning that it may contain mutant whale-size sardines.

That was 16 items.

Poor Holiday Gift Choice...The Lucifer 2500, Talking GPS Device.

Mail-Order Yard Sale

"If there are more than two people in front of you - we will open another superstore."

'When will you learn? You're only paying for the label!'

"Sometimes I like to browse the men's section just to screw with the patriarchy."

"So if I'm to understand you correctly, this 'engineered athletic footwear' with its 'extended torsion system' is also a sneaker?"

"Footwear's upstairs, Sir"

"Classic ballcap $79.95. White, black, red or blue. Adjustable. One size fits all."