Supermarket Satire Lovers Gifts

Sign at side of road reads - 'Area of outstanding supermarket sites.'

Pirates at the mall.

"What would you suggest to fill the dark, empty spaces in my soul?"

What if retail stores behaved like websites?

'I just couldn't think of the word poultry.'

"They put nipples on the mannequins so you'll look at the stupid sweaters. Duh!"

"Once you break through the plastic clamshell and blister packs, there won't be any packaging left!"

'The stuff legends are made of'

"So the only way to save the economy is to spend what we haven't got - plus ca change - moin ca change!"

What's your returns policy on faulty goods?

Eye of Newt Helper

Frozen Food - Pick Your Own

'Bag? Any vouchers? Like a packer? If you have two of those... What type of apples are these?'

'That's the last time I send you shopping!'

'Derek knew that someone, somewhere must have designed a car with a shopping basket.'

5 foot high or less aisle in a supermarket

'Yes?'

'You've got hopelessness and despair until 3:25, at which time your survival instincts are scheduled to kick in.'

'Darn it! The bar code doesn't seem to be working. . . flip him over and let's try the other side. . .'

That was 16 items.

Woman with sardine tin with warning that it may contain mutant whale-size sardines.

"So if I'm to understand you correctly, this 'engineered athletic footwear' with its 'extended torsion system' is also a sneaker?"

"Footwear's upstairs, Sir"

Christmas carol: 'Blow your budget stuff your trolley, tr-la-la-la-laaa-la-la-la-la...'

Holds leftovers, easy to carry... Gotta say, he almost had me. Right up to th 'Keeps food fresh' part. What a waste of a good idea.

'Express Line, Ten sins or less'

"Butcher!"

Woman walking past Five Guys.

Crap Nav

Undertakers' supermarket.

10 items or less queue. (Woman has thrown eggs onto floor).

'He's been visiting IKEA with someone else.'

Toothpaste mental shutdown.

Hand baskets only lane in hell.

Dramatic readings of food labels.