Supermarket Satire Lovers Gifts

Sign at side of road reads - 'Area of outstanding supermarket sites.'

Pirates at the mall.

What if retail stores behaved like websites?

"What would you suggest to fill the dark, empty spaces in my soul?"

'I just couldn't think of the word poultry.'

"Once you break through the plastic clamshell and blister packs, there won't be any packaging left!"

"They put nipples on the mannequins so you'll look at the stupid sweaters. Duh!"

'The stuff legends are made of'

What's your returns policy on faulty goods?

Frozen Food - Pick Your Own

"So the only way to save the economy is to spend what we haven't got - plus ca change - moin ca change!"

Eye of Newt Helper

'That's the last time I send you shopping!'

'Bag? Any vouchers? Like a packer? If you have two of those... What type of apples are these?'

5 foot high or less aisle in a supermarket

'Derek knew that someone, somewhere must have designed a car with a shopping basket.'

'You've got hopelessness and despair until 3:25, at which time your survival instincts are scheduled to kick in.'

'Darn it! The bar code doesn't seem to be working. . . flip him over and let's try the other side. . .'

Woman with sardine tin with warning that it may contain mutant whale-size sardines.

That was 16 items.

"Footwear's upstairs, Sir"

"So if I'm to understand you correctly, this 'engineered athletic footwear' with its 'extended torsion system' is also a sneaker?"

Christmas carol: 'Blow your budget stuff your trolley, tr-la-la-la-laaa-la-la-la-la...'

Holds leftovers, easy to carry... Gotta say, he almost had me. Right up to th 'Keeps food fresh' part. What a waste of a good idea.

Undertakers' supermarket.

10 items or less queue. (Woman has thrown eggs onto floor).

Crap Nav

'Express Line, Ten sins or less'

"Butcher!"

'He's been visiting IKEA with someone else.'

Woman walking past Five Guys.

Hand baskets only lane in hell.

Toothpaste mental shutdown.

Dramatic readings of food labels.

Crime scene outline on the floor of a grocery store.