Super Secure Gifts

'With all the cars being stolen these days, I went out and bought the strongest security system I could afford.'

The Anti-Agent

"The report is clear that cyber crime is on the increase, it's a worry."

UK border controls relaxed.

Thanks to her cat-cam, Cheryl was able to keep her furniture from being shredded while she was at work.

"One more time, Mr Claus - who sold you the data?"

High security Santa's grotto

'With the increase in hacking, the I.T. department has proposed sealing all of our data in blister packs.'

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

"He's a guard dog."

"Someone’s in the kitchen. Did you lock up my kibble?"

"OK, you're good and just the guy we need in security."

No Soliciting

'Well, you got the dog to protect you against criminals. Perhaps now you'll have to hire a criminal to protect you from the dog.'

Super Strength, Impervious to Bullets And Explosions

"I'm not sure if we're named after passwords or vice versa."

"I see you've security marked your property."

"Check the setting. I'm sure the CIA isn't hacking into our appliances just to burn your toast."

The Scanner Of Love.

"The smart toaster is down, and it took our wifi, security cameras, and entertainment systems with it."

"On a positive note, he's not our boss. He's the guy who stole our boss's identity."

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

'Nobody ever before had took much notice of Granny's homemade flour-sack bloomers.'

"That? It's where I keep all my passwords."

"Good heavens William, what have you downloaded off the internet this time?"

CIA, 'Confound it, Ruggles -- we're SUPPOSED to be worrywarts'

''Junk Yard Dog' just sounds so much cooler.'

"It's a fantastic computer! It's so old that none of today's hackers know how to hack it!"

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

Scarecrows guarding a field

Death to the Extremists

"Beware of Don"

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

Moulin Rouge Security

'Best watchdog I ever had!'